White, Black, Asian, Hispanic.
We are all from different heritages, cultures, and lifestyles, but is up to us to embrace these different cultures and apply them to our daily lives.
In one of my favorite movies, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," there is a middle-aged woman named Toula Portokalo. She is completely and utterly embarrassed of being Greek and even of being related to her family. Her family is always loud, they invade others personal lives and they make her eat everything. Later in the movie, she is proposed to by an amazing guy, but unfortunately he isn't Greek, which tends to make things much more complicated for her family because they are extremely culturally based. She talks to her brother, Nick, about how her father is being difficult and stubborn, but he goes on to tell her, “Do not let the past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will be.”
I immediately started crying, because quite frankly it’s true. The generations of today and those of tomorrow are slowly becoming more ashamed of their culture and are unwilling to make that part of their history, a part of themselves.
Roman philosopher, Lucius Seneca, once said, “As the soil, however rich it may be cannot be productive without cultivation, so the mind without culture can never produce good fruit.” Every day we constantly make decisions that are influenced by our culture. The food we eat, the shops we shop at, and the universities we attend. Today we will explore the younger generations’ problems of feeling ashamed of their heritage, how to handle this problem, and the impact that it will make on today’s society.
Now, living in a socially conservative Korean household, I have had many cultures and different beliefs pushed upon me by my family. The number one belief that my family influenced upon my brothers and I was that respect will get you through anything. My brothers and I thought that this belief was too ambiguous. When we were joking, our parents believed that we were disrespecting them. It became one of the most frustrating things; we weren't able to tell when joking became disrespectful. Once when I was in the 6th grade, I experienced the epitome of all my disrespectful moments. My dad took me to an event for one of his non-profit organizations. He was talking amongst some of his Korean friends and naturally they were all speaking Korean. I really had no idea what was going on, because I wasn’t that fluent in Korean yet. The adults asked me what my name was and that much I understood so I told them, but then I walked away from my father’s friends. Mistake number one: walking off. Mistake number two: walking off without excusing myself. It’s one thing to walk away from your elders, but it’s another thing not to excuse yourself. My dad didn’t yell at me while we were still at the function, but you can bet your social security that he yelled at me once we got home. He told me that by walking away I not only disrespected my father, but these people who were just getting to know me. I had no idea the wreck I had caused.
One aspect of culture that influences our behaviors is the expectations of our friends and family. According to Saul McLeod, psychology professor at Wigan and Leigh College, “People do not behave randomly but rather they behave a certain way in certain situations.” One of the reasons for acting the way a person does in a situation is because of their social role in that group or in the environment that they are in.
According to the February 2012 issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology, there was a study conducted which proved that culture is a dominant influence in your daily life. The study was conducted with college students, half of the students were from one culture and the other half were from a different culture. Those from Culture A were characterized by focusing more on the positive things in life whereas Culture B focused on the negative things. In this study, these college students were asked to study a series of pictures. Some of the pictures were neutral pictures of clouds, others were positive happy pictures and then there were some negative pictures. These pictures were shown on a computer screen and once they were done studying the pictures they would press the space bar. Culture A looked longer at the positive pictures rather than the negative pictures. The opposite was true for Culture B. College students from Culture B looked at the negative pictures much longer than the positive ones. This is a prime example of how culture influences the decisions we make. Culture A which focused on positive things in life studied the positive pictures and Culture B which focused on the negative things in life studies the negative pictures. This proves that the things we focus on in life can affect how we think later in life and potentially the mood we are in.
Toula was so heavily influenced by her traditions, by the way she looked and dressed and even to the point the way she acted. She wasn’t as loud as her family, but when her family crossed her, she became independent and powerful. I too am influenced by my culture. I realize more throughout my adolescent life that respect is a huge part of who I am. I believe respect is one of the key elements to be in a healthy friendship or any sort of relationship.
Culture is so powerful. It is important to let culture be a part of us, but we also need to make sure to surround our lives with the positive things. It already greatly influences our behavior, so it is important to immerse ourselves in an environment that is healthy for us. In order to make ourselves more cultural we need to be accepting of the many cultures surrounding today’s society.
There are so many young people who are embarrassed of their flamboyant cultures. But I ask this one question—why are we ashamed of our cultures? Cultures are one of the main reasons we are who we are. Culture is not just the religion or traditions from other parts of the world. It is the environment that we live in. I may live in a traditional Korean household, but I also live in America, with American traditions. Our culture is everything around us, influencing the shape of our characters. Culture is not something we should be ashamed of. We should be embracing the environment whether it is good or bad. Let the good influence you, but don’t let the bad bring you down. Adapt and learn to do good from that bad environment. Despite the fact that the college students from Culture B were influenced by the negative surroundings, it was their decision to interpret it the way they wanted to.
We need culture. This whole world is filled with cultures, but if we can’t learn to accept it and make it a part of who we are than these cultures will surely die out. Why would we even want to let it die out? It is so beautiful. The different types of music, the food and the traditions that each generation keeps is absolutely magnificent. At the end of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Toula realized that she was actually proud of her unique culture and with her own child she immersed her into the Greek culture. She didn’t let her traditions control every aspect of her life, but rather mixed her American and Greek traditions. I know I am still young, but despite the fact I have so many American traditions, I am also a Korean with Korean traditions.
Do we really want to be the generation that loses the culture? We are who we are because of these traditions, religions, and arts. Why are we ashamed of the one thing that makes us who we are? We should be thankful, we should embrace it, and we should let it be a part of who we will be.
