Why do we always consider our families to be embarrassing? I can think of so many stories that were so embarrassing at the time, and yet now they’re just funny stories to tell when I’m with friends. So why did they make me want to bury my head in the ground like an ostrich at the time they happened? I’m sure I’m not the only person on the planet that has stories like these. I’m also sure that I’ve embarrassed other people in my family, just as much as they’ve embarrassed me. So what makes these things we do embarrassing? Why are these stories that are so funny now, so cringe worthy then? I’d like to recall some of these stories, and hopefully, expand my knowledge (and maybe yours too) on this phenomenon known as embarrassment.

About six years ago, my brother and I went to the town center mall in our hometown of Boca Raton. If you're having trouble picturing this; imagine an extremely small mall with a Grand Lux Cafe and Macy's on one side, a stir fry restaurant called Stir Crazy on the other, and the only place you can ever dream of affording anything there is the clearance section of Sears. However, it was the closest mall to where we lived, and my brother wanted to take me shopping for a mother's day present for our mom; and maybe clothes for me along the way. It was the year he had moved out to start college; which means it was also the year the two of us actually were starting to get along, dare I say even like each other. It was also the year he officially came out to everyone, our parents included, as gay.

So we were walking into the mall, where there happened to be a guy standing in front preaching the bible. My brother noticed him before I did. I can't really remember what the guy looked like; just that he was white and holding the bible in one hand, and a sign that said something about Jesus in the other. He was going on about how, "Gays' are going to hell," and "Jews are the devil." This was before my brother became an atheist, so he still considered himself a gay Jew.

Now, my brother isn't a 'stereotypical gay'. He doesn't really act flamboyant or anything. I guess maybe if you consider that he likes to dress nice a 'stereotypically gay' thing he has that going for him, but that's about it. However, when he saw this guy, he stopped mid-stride and stared at him. It was so abrupt that I bumped into him and had to look in the direction he was staring to understand what was going on. I instantly tried to stop him, but he was not going to hold back. I had to chase him as he strode up to this man, head held high like some sort of royalty, and shouted, "Nuh uh! This is NOT going down in MY town! Hold my earrings, hold my weave, 'cause it's about to get CRAZY up in this bitch!"

So now, I'm a 5"2, slightly chunky girl in jeans and an anime hoodie (specifically Katekyo Hitman REBORN! for those who might know it); standing there as a 5"11 guy with nicely combed hair and thick, hipster glasses, wearing a button up shirt with sleeves that cuff at the elbow, and a sweater vest snapping his fingers in the face of this preacher, and calling him out like one of those stereotypical black ladies you see in movies. To make things worse, I proceeded to try and pull him away from the man into the mall. This didn't work out so well, since I certainly am not, and never have been, strong enough to pull someone who is a full head taller than me. Eventually, my brother did drop it and come with me into the mall, after a good ten to twenty minutes of complete chaos; leaving the preacher extremely pissed and seemingly quite confused.

I like to think that this wouldn't happen today, what with the Gay Marriage law being passed, and people seeming to be more accepting. However, I know that there are still people who feel the need to preach about hateful things. I am happy to say that I feel I have grown out of the phase that things like that embarrass me. I don't think I care as much about public opinion as I used to, and if this happened today I would probably join my brother and get up in the guy's face. I wouldn't do it just to make a point, but because it's funny, and my brother and I would probably laugh about it later; similar to how we look back at events like this now when we're together, and laugh about how dumb we were.

Another thing that happened was a few years earlier when I was about thirteen. My dad, brother, and I went to Disney together for a vacation (mom couldn’t get off work). It was around the time that the Mount Everest ride had just opened at Animal Kingdom, and my dad and brother are both big on roller coasters, so of course that was our first stop. I politely told my dad I would wait for them at the end of the ride since I get extremely motion sick; to which he proclaimed that I was too young to be left alone in the theme park.

“Dad,” I had said, “I know stranger danger. I’ll be fine.” Sadly, he wasn’t having it, and I got dragged over to the line. It was a half-hour wait for party rider, and only ten minutes for single rider; so of course single rider was the route my family chose. My brother got on the first train and went without a hassle. My dad was on the last car of the train before mine. That was the point that a boy, who must have been no older than ten, was placed behind me by the ride attendant so he would be sitting next to me on the ride. He was obviously scared, and his mother (who would be sitting behind us when the train came) was trying to calm him down.

“Look, see? This nice girl will be next to you. She’ll make sure you stay safe.” She had said, looking at me with a pleading face. Obviously, she had been in a similar position as my dad and just didn’t want to leave her kid alone. (This is understandable for a ten-year-old, not a thirteen-year-old.)

“Yeah, no problem.” I had responded, giving the boy my best “I’m not a weirdo, I swear” smile. Now, I don’t know if my dad didn’t notice what was going on, or if he knew exactly what I was doing and did this just to be a prick; but at that very moment my dad’s train started moving, and as he passed us he reached out his arms to me and scream, “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! OH GOD!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!”

The boy almost starting crying. I wanted to cry too, just of embarrassment, not fear. The mother was giving me the nastiest look ever now. All I could do was give her a nervous smile and claim that I took after my mom. It was a blatant lie to anyone who knew me personally, but I rolled with it.

After the ride, the kid was fine. He loved it and ran over to his mom asked to go again. I, on the other hand, stumbled off the ride, wobbled my way over to my family, and had to lean on my brother’s shoulder for support. I looked up at my father with complete disdain and announced, “Dad, I’m gonna vomit all over your shoe. And you are going to stand there, and you are going to take it.” After which I did exactly that.

This story was embarrassing on two accounts. I was embarrassed by my father nearly making a ten-year-old cry, and my father was embarrassed for having vomit filled shoes the rest of the day. (He did ask for it, though, I mean seriously.) And yet, now my brother and I look back on it like a joke; and my dad doesn’t even remember it. Maybe he suppressed it in the back of his mind or something. Either way, it’s hysterical; at least my brother and I think so. Then again, we are terrible people that find joy in the screams of petrified children.

So those are a couple of examples from my past. I’m sure I’m not the only one that has these sorts of things happen to them. Okay, maybe I’m the only one who had a brother flamboyantly tell off a preacher, and a father scare the everlasting fuck out of a ten-year-old at the “happiest place on Earth;” but I’m not the only one who has been embarrassed by things her family has done in public. And yet, in the end, those embarrassing stories bring us closer together in later years.

Maybe that’s what they’re truly there for. Thinking about it now, maybe these embarrassing situations happen specifically for the ability to laugh about them later. I mean sure, I doubt that’s what your family members are thinking; and I’m sure that’s not what you’ll be thinking about at the moment they occur. However, if when our families start to embarrass us, we mentally take a step back and think, “you know, this will be really funny in about a year or two;” maybe we won’t be so quick to think judgmental and hateful thoughts about them. My brother and I hated each other growing up, and now we’re best friends. Hell, just a couple months ago I got a package from him filled with treats and alcohols from a Japanese market he went to now that he lives in Seattle. And when we’re together we always laugh and talk about the stupid things we got up to as kids.

So I guess the lesson I’ve learned is, don’t hate your family for the embarrassing stuff they do. Chances are they do it because they love you, and it will make for great conversation down the road. So be proud of your preacher sassers, and child scares; because deep down you know there’s no one in the world that can replace them.