We are all too aware of painfully awkward elevator rides with strangers. The deafening silence. Each person looking down at their feet or smartphones, wanting more than anything to jump out of the elevator, back into the comfort of solitude and the familiar.
Recently, I started a game that has put an end to such ordeals. The rules are simple. Every time I find myself alone in an elevator with a stranger, I start a conversation!
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You can open the conversation any which way you like. It can be a compliment on the stranger’s outfit, hair or makeup. For instance, during one ride, a lady and I were both wearing neon yellow shirts. I remarked, “Hey, we are matching!” Surprised laugher followed, and conversation about fashion ensued. Another classic conversation opener can be a comment on the weather––cliché, but you’d be surprised at how useful a simple “Man, its crazy hot today,” can be in breaking the ice.
If you are riding a hotel elevator, you can ask strangers where they come from, and what occasion brings them to the country. For instance, during the four days I stayed at Harbor Grand Hotel in Hong Kong, I spoke to at least seven different people on elevator rides. The first person I spoke to was a man from Australia. To my regret, his name has since slipped from my memory. My interaction with him, however, sparked the idea of the Elevator Convo Challenge. It was morning, and I was riding down to the lobby from my room on the 23rd floor. The elevator stopped along the way, and in walked this middle-aged Caucasian man dressed in business-casual attire. Now, at that point of the trip, I was dying to have a conversation with someone––anyone. Neither my Cantonese nor my Mandarin are good enough to sustain interesting conversation with Hong Kong natives. That’s why when I saw this Caucasian male whom I presumed spoke English, I grabbed the opportunity and started chatting it up. I asked him, “Are you from America?” He replied, “No, I’m actually from Australia!” The rapport flowed easily the whole ride down. I asked him how far Australia was from Hong Kong. He replied, “About eight hours by plane.” He told me he was in Hong Kong for work. I told him I was here with family for vacation before college. He asked where I’d be going to school. I told him UCLA. He asked what I’d be studying, and I replied, “Psychobiology major and premed track is the plan.” He remarked, “Wow, you must be a smart cookie!” I laughed. He shook hands with me, introducing himself. I introduced myself as Belicia––“Like Felicia, with a B.” We parted ways at the lobby, each pleased to have shared pleasant banter with a complete stranger, instead of riding down the elevator in stone silence.
I realized then that by reaching out to strangers, you open the door to a whole new world. In doing so, you expand your worldview, learn something new and maybe even meet someone special. While not all conversations lead to something more, you limit your chances of bringing beautiful people into your life if you choose to do the easy thing––remain silent. Plus, knowing how to converse with anybody is a great life skill to have. What better way to practice than with strangers on elevators? Yes, it will be a bit nerve-wracking in the beginning, especially if you are shy or introverted. Being trapped in an elevator with someone you’ve never met, with no means of escape, is scary! Let me just tell you––almost everyone feels this way. That’s why elevator rides are always so quiet––nobody wants to initiate conversation! So why not be the courageous one and speak up first? The worst that could happen is a dead-end/awkward conversation, and then you’ll never have to see the person again. The elevator conversations I've had were anything but awkward, however. And it’s not because I’m the most socially skilled person! I think all the individuals I spoke to were pleasantly surprised that someone cared enough to start a conversation with them.
So, next time you find yourself stuck in an elevator with a complete stranger, don’t groan in anticipation. View it as an opportunity! Open the door to conversation, and you may find something remarkable on the other side.
