I have recently learned some shocking news. I didn’t want to believe it at first but when I think back at all the failed attempts and seconds wasted, I can’t help but think that all the rumors are true.

THIS BUTTON. YES, THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE. IT DOES NOTHING.

For years this cold button has been putting up a façade, acting like is has special abilities when in reality it has no more power than the buttons on the toy Barbie cash register that I had when I was a kid.

To put the rumors to the test I walked over to my apartment elevator, got inside, and repeatedly pushed the ‘door close’ button. And what were my results? It took the door an equal amount of time to close without pushing the button than it did when the button was pushed (and I assure you, I used the scientific method).

The New York Times called buttons like these placebo buttons and they are apparently far more common than you may realize. Other wannabes buttons include your office thermostat and the button that “controls” the crosswalk signal.

According to The New York Times article, most modern and refurbished elevators are likely to have ‘door close’ buttons that are non-functioning in accordance to laws requiring elevator doors to stay open long enough for anyone to enter. On the plus side, the ‘door open’ button does in fact still work for those times when you feel like being a nice person and keeping the door open for your neighbor. Yay.

In retrospect, placebo buttons are not a big deal but I still feel like I have been lied to. Apparently, having buttons such as these give people a sense of control over their life but what would actually make me feel like I have control is knowing that these buttons do absolutely nothing. NOTHING.