The other day I attended a concert at Blossom Music Center in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio with a friend. It was a nice time. We drank. We sang songs out of the car. We enjoyed the concert. It wasn't till later that night I checked my Snapchat and saw I had an incredible amount of notifications via one person. *Christian* sent me all of his Snapchats that were already available to view on his Snapchat story. The nerve! Don't get me wrong, he is a close friend but the Snapchats were a little over 2 minutes total.
Snapchat is great, don't get me wrong, there are some small irritable that almost all of us have made. As followed, here are eight rules you should try to follow:
(*Editor Note: Name has not been changed because Christian needs to know who he is and what he did.)
1. No double Snapchats
Have you ever received a Snapchat from someone (let's say it's a crush you have) and then you see the same Snapchat is on their story? You feel slightly betrayed. I'm glad I was able to grace your presence seeing the Snapchat twice, but if I really wanted to see it twice, then I would have viewed your story two separate times. It is basically like repeating the same joke to the same person who just heard it a couple seconds ago.
2. Likewise, don't send Snapchats of your nails
A simple solution can solve this problem...send it to your girlfriends. You might say, "But I spent all damn day getting these done". You might say, "I want to show off to everyone my new nails". And I would say: you don't see me sending selfies of my pearly white teeth.
3. Speaking of selfies
Don't. With the new technology on Snapchat, you can throw on a filter and look completely different. The one filter can take away all imperfections and make you look "perfect" when in reality, that isn't true. No false advertisement please, and for the love of all things holy...no dog filter.
Also, no selfies on your Snapchat story gentlemen.
4. Respect the time limit
I don't want to have to click my phone with my index finger a repetitive amount of times to skip past your story. Only three circumstances allow you to go past the golden two-minute Snapchat story material: Weddings, championship sporting events, and doing something really badass.
(Badass limitations include: Lumberjack competitions, German Beer House events, Ice Sculpting, and Wakeboarding on the Nile River)
5. Babysitting guidelines
Currently, I get to view five Snapchatters babysit and the Snapchats consist of the same things: Baby poops, selfies with filters of the baby/kid, you requesting the kid to "cuddle" with you, and nap time. There is a reason why there are no reality TV shows about babysitting. It isn't that interesting. Unless the kid has some hidden talent or possesses superhero abilities, save the Snapchats for your close friends.
6. Your journey and destination
Driving Snapchat stories are the worst. Guaranteed they are of you listening to music that we don't share similar taste in, or you are going back to your hometown. You try to dance or even lip sync to "your song" with a filter on, that is dangerous. Huge safety hazard. Unless you are traveling to Mars, Los Angeles, or Atlantis it can be sent to your friends.
7. Broadcasting your relationship to everyone
If you put your selfie with you and your significant other on your Snapchat story, you want it to be seen. Saying otherwise is like being the guy at the gym who loves to claim that sleeveless shirts are “just way more functional for triceps, bro.” So if you’re going to put that significant selfie on your story, don’t put “love them" or "my person".
8. Have some chill
No one should have to log on and see a plethora of Snapchats waiting to be viewed by the person's lifestyle choices. Therefore, none of the following Snapchats shall be posted in their story: yoga, hot yoga, health and wellness, juice cleanse, hungover, clean car, DOG FILTER.
