If you are a single young person in 2016, you will know that dating and relationships can be a minefield for millennials these days. Even if you're a veteran of the Dating Wars and have officially found yourself a consistent "Netflix and Chill" partner, you may still be able to remember the days when you were a lone wolf, just trying to figure out how you felt, or how the person felt, or whether or not you even had time to date, or if you were moving too fast or too slow, or if you wanted to make it official etc., etc. In this day and age young people live fast paced lives, with jobs, school, and social lives taking up most if not all of our valuable time. With all this rush and ruckus, just trying to find someone who shares common interests can seem daunting, let alone finding someone who is also looking for what you're looking for, is not literally crazy, and is nice to waiters and their mom.
With this in mind, more and more young people (and, in fact, people in general) are turning to online dating to help them find someone normal and interesting on their terms within their time frames. However, the experiences and conveniences of online dating come with their own set of pitfalls. Unlike our parents and even (in some cases) our older siblings, with the Internet Age now in full swing, we have a plethora of options and open doors to a wider range of potential partners than ever before. Online dating enhances this still further, and it only takes 30 minutes on Tinder or Ok!Cupid for us to realize this, that if we wanted to and had the time and energy, we could spend days or even weeks searching for the perfect individual we always wanted... if they even exist.
Still, in spite of the awkward moments, the crazy Internet people and the potential for time-wasting some dating apps create, I still think online dating is something that most people should at least seriously consider as a valid option. Obviously, I'm biased, as I met my boyfriend of over a year on Ok!Cupid, but still, I do think there are reasons online dating genuinely does offer many things most young people will and do find incredibly beneficial. Here are the top eight.
Reason 1: If used correctly, it can be a great way to stay safe. If you’re a woman in the 21st century like me, you know that, unfortunately, dating can be dangerous. There’s always the worry that once you get out on a date, whoever you're out with will reveal their true colors and make you uncomfortable, pressure you or just generally act like a jerk. Online dating is a great way to screen out some of these kind of people. It’s a common misconception that people can completely fake their personalities on the internet because of the inherent anonymity, but in my personal experience, people generally let you know who they are in online dating scenarios pretty quickly. Talking online for a couple of weeks before meeting up is a great way to ensure you know a little bit about the person and have a good idea of how they're going to treat you on the date.
Reason 2: There’s a wide selection. Because of the prevalence of online dating these days, there’s a wide array of sites you can use to be sure you’re being linked up with people who you want to talk to. Each site is going to be aimed at people looking for certain things romantically, and it’s worth thinking about that and how that corresponds with what you’re looking for before you sign up. Some questions to consider: Are you looking for something long-term or just a fling? Do you only date people of certain religious affiliations? How important is sheer convenience to you when using a dating app or website? How much do you want to know about a person from their profile, or are you content with an appearance based selection process? The answers to all of these questions will lead you to certain sites where you can find a wide group of people who fall into the basic parameters of what you’re looking for. Which leads me to….
Reason 3: You’ll have options. Do you ever get tired of trying to figure out if the person you’re interested in is single and ready to mingle? With online dating, if you come across a profile you like, you can pretty much assume that the person in question is single and looking. (There are exceptions to this though, so keep that in mind as you look through! Pro-tip: Always, always read all the way through the profile before moving forward or initiating conversation.) There’s not a lot of guessing in online dating. Everyone knows they’re on a dating site, so the assumption is that whoever is on it is ready to date. No guesswork, no games, just finding what you like and then exploring the options.
Reason 4: There’s little to no pressure. Say I found a profile I liked and messaged the guy, but then found out through the messages I exchanged with him that he wasn't the one for me. There’s no pressure to go out with him, no embarrassing him with a face to face rejection. If he asked me out, I could politely tell him I'm not interested, and if on the off chance he doesn’t handle it well, that’s what the block button is for.
Reason 5: It’s a great way to figure out quickly if someone exhibits any of your dating deal breakers. This may sound cold, but we all have standards. Can’t stand certain kinds of music? Need someone who can keep up with your active lifestyle and strictly vegan diet? Looking for someone who is okay with cats/dogs/kids? By looking at someone’s profile or sending a few messages back and forth, it can be easy to figure out if you guys are just inherently incompatible for some reason, which can save a ton of time in the long run. As an addendum to this though, don’t forget to be reasonable. Because of the many options of online dating, it can be easy to keep chasing an ideal that doesn’t really exist. Remember what you’re really looking for, and don’t be afraid to message someone who hates a restaurant you love if otherwise you seem to match up. You’re never going to find a carbon copy of yourself, and why would you want to? Feel free to use your dating site of choice to figure out exactly what you can and can’t stomach when it comes to a romantic partner from the comfort of your own home, but remember that not all superficial differences count as obstacles.
Reason 6: It’s just really convenient. You have a busy life. We all do. Why bother getting dolled up for a potential dud of a blind date with your coworker’s cousin after a long day of work when you could curl up on the couch with some take out and surf some potential romantic options or send a friendly message inbetween writing emails for work and watching an episode of "Stranger Things"? Obviously it’s important to be social and eventually you will have to put your best foot forward and meet up with somebody, but avoiding some awkwardness and getting some work done in the meantime sounds like a great deal to me.
Reason 7: It’s a great way to save your memories. Say you do message someone, and it works out, and you start dating. You’ll always have a record of some of your first conversations to look back on with your partner, which can be amusing and embarrassing as well as sweet. If you're like me and prone to some good old fashioned nostalgia, seeing yourself start to really like this person you're so crazy about now for the first time can be a nice reminder of all you've gone through together and all the things you thought were awesome about them from the very beginning.
Reason 8: You can present what’s most important to you and about you right out of the gate. This one is pretty self-explanatory, but if you’re tired of the social conventions of small talk on dates, it’s pretty great. Online dating defies traditional ideas of what "dating" should look like, so it’s okay to just put on your profile, “I’m strongly Libertarian and a dog lover and I think it’s rad being a Sagittarius.” This then puts the burden of decision on whomever is looking at your profile, instead of on you to leak out information slowly as your relationship moves along and hope nothing causes a conflict. It really is that simple.
Of course, it may be that online dating just isn't for you, and that's okay. But I know if I hadn't taken the time to consider it and made myself give it a chance to see if it had something for me, I never would have met my super cute favorite person who also triples as my best friend and boyfriend. Maybe you won't be as lucky as I was, or maybe you'll be even luckier, but putting yourself out there and learning from your experiences can be a great way to figure out your next steps no matter what happens. I wish you luck out there guys, but remember, every step you take just might put you one step closer to where you're meant to be.
