Seeing the Sites: Eharmony and the guy I call Alejandro | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Seeing the Sites: Eharmony and the guy I call Alejandro

The compatibility meter finally got it right....at least for a few months

30
Seeing the Sites: Eharmony and the guy I call Alejandro
pexels

Maybe you’ve seen the commercials for eHarmony.com, the ones where the kindly looking old guy who invented the site pops up in the middle of happy young couples’ dates, proposals, and honeymoons. And he has a right to be proud. eHarmony is based on science—it uses a compatibility matching system that takes 29 different personality variables and uses them to figure out who you’re most likely to have a good relationship with.

eHarmony is very strict about its magical dating formula. The site only allows users to contact people “the system” has decided is a good match for them. But that takes time. Sometimes it can take weeks or even months for the site to find enough “dates” to justify the cost of membership, which is pretty steep, compared to the other sites out there.

If you want to see how eHarmony’s scientific magic works for you, here’s a tip: If you hold out for a little while, you’ll probably receive a whole bunch of emails down the line offering better prices—usually at the same time the site has found more potential matches for you to choose from.

I was only on eHarmony for three months before deleting my account. I hooked up with a guy I liked so much that I quit. But more on that later. It offers a whole buffet of unique services the other sites don’t have, like video chat. Plus, at the time I wrote this story, the site boasted more users in Canada than any other dating site in the world!

Maybe I should consider a move up North. This maybe is not such a bad idea considering our presidency right not but this isn't a story about politics....

Check out this genuine, eHarmony sanctioned date, and you be the judge. I found the guy I call Alejandro, after the Lady Gaga song of the same name. If you’ve heard the song, you might suspect this is another rather bittersweet tale if you've been following my stories.

It is. But I promise I’ll spare you the drunken, sobbing love poems I wrote to him after it all came to a tragic end.

Ohhhhh, Alejandro. The compatibility meter got it right that time—he was the one guy I fell for head over heels after my divorce. In fact, I think maybe, possibly, I was even in love with him. It was as though he put a spell on me: I was so incredibly emotionally and physically attracted to him, I couldn’t keep my mind (or my hands) off the guy. I got butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him, even after a few months.

If I had a checklist, Alejandro was the one guy who ticked all the boxes. Of course, he was exotic—Argentinean this time. I can’t seem to get enough of those Latin lovers. He was an ambitious entrepreneur who owned a bunch of clothing boutiques. He was smart, funny, and charming.

Oh yeah, and he had a motorcycle.

My first-ever motorcycle ride was on the back of Alejandro’s bike, my arms wrapped around his waist. He literally swept me off my feet—I’ll never forget the exhilarating sense of freedom as we flew down the Brooklyn Queens Expressway… Thinking I was going to die.

But I didn’t.

Then there was the time he decided to book a romantic weekend away in the Poconos. If you’re not from the East Coast, you might not be aware of Pennsylvania’s cheesy honeymoon haven—a mountain town filled with little cabin motels and inns that seem to be designed for the sole purpose of hosting creative, crazy sexual encounters.

Before we even reached our destination, I guessed that our room was going to have a floor-to-ceiling glass bathtub shaped like a champagne glass and a heart-shaped bed (I’d seen enough corny Poconos commercials in the 1980s to have some idea of what to expect).

And I was right!

Our cabin had it all: the red velvet interior, the heart-shaped bed (plus a heart-shaped pool!), and of course, the obligatory, sky-high champagne glass tub. When the room wasn’t booked, it was probably used as a set for porn videos.

We certainly found the space…inspiring.

After a few hours of indoor fun, we decided it was time to eat. Unfortunately, we showed up two hours after dinner service closed. The helpful kitchen lady threw some slimy green leftovers that resembled something I might step over on a New York street onto a plate.

Oh well. It wasn’t really about the food anyway.

The time Alejandro and I spent together was a blast. It seemed like eHarmony definitely earned their pricey membership fee, which was why I happily left the site as a satisfied customer.

As we crept closer to that crucial three-month mark, though, things started getting weird. Then, like all good things, it came to an end.

It wasn’t ugly or dramatic. We still talk occasionally. In fact, he recently shoved his tongue down my throat, which, I have to admit, helped with the healing process. Although it took a LOT of drunken sob poems to get there.

He even talks about the possibility of giving it another shot. I still get those butterflies every time I hear his voice, so you never know.

In the end, I learned a lot from dating Alejandro. I learned a lot about myself, and not only what I want in a guy (or what eHarmony’s magic compatibility survey thinks I want in a guy), but about life in general.

I also learned that I am a really, really crappy poet.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

188032
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

13533
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

456831
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26003
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments