Not long ago I was having this conversation with a friend of mine about the very offensive things we do as kids. We, of course, blamed these to "not knowing better" and "our age" when, in all honesty, most of the things we did were caused by peer pressure, and the lack of individuality we possessed in our early years.
He expressed to me that the actions he regrets the most are the ones he carried out to prove his manhood. In his childhood he used to get teased for "having no game", hence he would shape his personality and date girls to get approval and/or boost his ego, which resulted on him hurting himself and the people around him.
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Even though he is now aware that what he did was wrong and unhealthy, this left a mark in his personality. I'm not trying to take away from his faults, this was his decision and there is no one else other than himself to blame, but I do believe that there is something deeper than "the age" or "not knowing better" that led him to react this way.
As a consequence to his "unfit personality" regarding of what society expects of him, he tried to overcompensate by becoming a hyper-mascunilized male and adjusted his behavior to conform to societal norms that his peers have internalized, and now are trying to impose on to him. Social stereotypes associate specific traits to specific genders, leaving very little freedom and inducing fear in the mindset of anyone who doesn't accommodate to them. I believe this is part of the reason (if not all of the reason) as to why he reacted a specific way to his peer's pressure.
Hyper-masculinity is the embrace of male physical and/or behavioral stereotypes that define the primary nature of their everyday interaction with others. This, I do believe, affects the individuality of the person, shrinking their free-will and blinding them to what's right or wrong in order to follow the norms. hyper-masculinity being the guideline to what men have to aspire influences the individuality, and decreases growth.
Overall, our expectations of how men are supposed to act it's not only having an impact in their personality, but it's also hurting the ones around them. We have internalized these gender-specific roles that are hurting our judgement, and the only way to reverse and/or solve this problem is to teach and learn. By now "I'm a guy" shouldn't be an excuse, for we shouldn't be justifying their behavior, and they shouldn't feel as if they have to hide and twist their personality to fit in a social criteria.
