Every parent wants to raise emotionally responsible and independent adults, which is why starting their childhood utilizing gentle and love-oriented parenting styles. Meeting the emotional needs of your children will equip them with the necessary tools to be happy and confident little people all the way to adulthood. This guide wants to stress a few different styles, though many of them broadly overlap. Taking parts that resonate with you will help you develop a pathway to caring for your children in a way that's right for your circumstances.
Positivity Parenting
Communication is incredibly important, and what you say or how you say it can have a deeply entrenched effect on your child throughout their entire life. It can be a struggle to shift some of our own entrenched feelings while trying to do better, but it is possible by practicing mindfulness.
One thing that seems to have proven effectiveness is the method of 'say this, not that.' In short, it offers phrases to say that shine a light on the motivation behind an action and celebrate that rather than generic praise. For example, say your child opens a door for you without prompting, try not to lean on responses such as 'thank you!' or 'good job!' for accolades. You should instead go a little deeper and say 'thank you! You have such good manners!' Instilling praise for the positive qualities we want our children to develop will allow them to be motivated to do more of that specific action.
This also works during the opposite situation, one in which our child might be doing something that we consider to be wrong. Rather than using the 'don't you dare speak to me that way,' it's more effective to state how something they're doing is making you feel in a calm manner. We want our children to know that yelling and lashing out is never the answer, and sometimes we must use as much self-control as we can muster to be that example for them.
Gentle and Attachment Parenting
Gentle parenting is something that's becoming much more common, and for good reason. Its core tenets focus on the development of empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries. Fostering qualities we want to see in our children is paramount in this method, much like positive parenting. The discipline doled out within gentle parenting methods involves age-appropriate life lessons that aren't focused on the punishment aspect.
This method has been researched and shown to be effective, especially in reducing the amount of childhood anxiety kids experience. Rather than focus on a rigid method in which expectations that are not met are punished, teaching empathy and creating a safe space for your child will give them the tools to be emotionally mature adults.
Attachment parenting is another effective method that focuses on transforming your relationship with your child via physical and emotional connection. This method doesn't involve rewards or punishments, only a natural connection between parent and child that creates a close bond. Trust is paramount in this method, which goes both ways as well. You must trust your child, show them that they are being listened to; in turn, they will trust you when you say that you know what is best in a given situation. This starts even at infancy if possible, and requires showing consistency in caring for your child's needs from the very beginning.
The Bottom Line
Children are people! They are small, developing, intelligent, and incredibly observant little people. We, as mature parents, must treat them like people. In turn, they will grow into healthy, competent adults.
