Growing up, I have always been taught by my parents to work hard in order to get what I want and what I deserve. I give it my all to show those who do not believe in me and myself that it is possible.

Being awestruck by love and beaten down by it, I thought to myself that there is no greater thing in the world than to be in love with someone and to be loved, and this past year taught me otherwise.

Being in love is such a beautiful thing when it is done right, and only then a few individuals get to experience this marvelous thing. When you have been in love, and I mean truly in love, it is when you experience the most beautiful moments in your life and, also the worst mental pain known to man: heartbreak.

This can either slowly tear you apart, or build you up stronger than you ever thought possible. Getting through it is probably one of the worst feelings that I have felt in my life so far. Day by day you think it is getting easier, but in reality it only feels like you are in denial because that is what people want you to feel, saying that it will all be okay in the end.

Well, let me tell you that it only feels as if nothing is going right and things are only getting worse. I thought for that whole while I was losing myself, I was letting the person down, I was letting others down, and I also let myself down.

I went to a college after high school for many reasons. I was lost in my own world and I was coming up short for options. I did not have goals at that moment because I was “stuck” for a long time…mentally.

Slowly, day by day, I did not see progress right then and there, but it was happening; I was starting to form my own person. I started thinking long term in what I wanted to do with my life. I am such a nerd and I probably always will be.

I crave knowledge and I love learning new things each and everyday day. I want a career that will allow me to learn and explore different places where I still have yet to go, and I started formulating my research. Taking online quizzes and digging deep into what I wanted to do. Little did I know then, but I was already becoming my own person. I was finally thinking for myself and discovering what I wanted to become.

For the longest time, I knew and was told that I am very creative and intricate with my work in school. Whether it was projects or assignments I was doing, I always made sure it was my best. I remember a teacher telling me, “When you turn in an assignment, it has your name on it…are you proud of the work you just turned in?”

That was a big game changer for me. From then on, I think, "this is the reason why I have become so picky with everything I turn in," whether it is for a grade or not. If I am not proud of what I am doing it, then what is the point of doing it in the first place?

Design. I can see myself designing. Designing what?

The next question I had to tackle was what can I do in today’s society that I can earn enough income, but still love doing what I do? Interior design kept popping up in my searches, and I started looking more and more into it.

I fell in love instantly.

I could see myself doing this. Now, the biggest question was where do I continue to further my education, and will this be something I’m proud of? Expanding my search into what universities offered the best Interior Design programs, I came across three that were relatively close and that could be attainable for me: The University of North Texas, Texas State University, and Texas Tech University.

While a majority of my friends went to UNT, it was not what I wanted. Texas State was also not pleasing to me, so my number one pick was Tech.

I had worked so hard to get where I was and I was not about to let anything get in my way.

I applied to Tech and only Tech. I believed and I knew I could get in, so why not? If anyone else can do it, why could I not?

With my application done and submitted, now was the start of the wait period. Although I knew it was going to be a while before I heard back, I was still in anticipation of knowing when I was going to hear back.

Days turned into weeks and the more I kept thinking about it, the more anxious I became so I just erased it from my mind for a while.

One evening I was at my usual routine, I went running as part of my workout. As I was already making my way back to my car, I received a phone call, but I was so into my work out that I was not about to answer it but I saw the (806) area code and I figured it was Tech making a routine check on me to see how the application process was going.

So as I answered, I was still panting from running, and the guy behind the phone greeted himself. “Hi this is [Trevor] calling from Texas Tech, I just wanted to let you know congratulations on getting accepted, I just sent you an email that goes through you next steps as a Red Raider.”

I had never felt so much joy in my heart that I felt it almost stop. I started to jump up frantically and saying thank you to the guy and I started to cry nothing but tears of joy. I could not believe what I had just heard. "Wow," I thought, "I did it."

It did not hit me until I saw my school for the first time, until I walked the halls for the first time. I am a Red Raider at Texas Tech University.

I am here and I made it all by myself.

Only then did I realize what my true love really was. It was my school. Aside from my family, it is what I live for and it is what I love the most in my life and I don’t know what I would do or who I would be without it.

It has made me who I am today and it has shaped me in every shape and form to becoming the woman I want to be. This is what defines me and I will not stop till I have earned my degree from Tech and I have hung it up on my wall in my house that I myself have designed.

It is my biggest goal in my life right now and I will work my way there. Just wait.