Currently

Just showered with my shampoo that smells like roses, shaved my arm pits, and put on face lotion. I'm doing better. ALSO -- Listening to Harry Style's new song Watermelon Sugar and it is, quite frankly, a religious experience.

Today

This morning started of decent, despite the fact that I cursed my existence at the sound of my alarm (god that sounds so angsty). I had a pumpkin spice pancake for breakfast and made some coffee that I ended up forgetting under my Keurig. Oops. I sat through Econ class and actually understood a bit of what was going on (nice! Personal growth!) and then successfully presented my presentation in Entertainment Media Studies! My group did our project on Star Trek (the 2009 movie and the original series) and we all put on Spock ears (only $5 on Amazon... kind of a steal, if you ask me) to present and I'm pretty sure the crowd loved it. I came back home afterwards and kind of fell into this weird mid-day slump that I've been experiencing for the past week, which is honestly the reason I felt prompted to do this lil check in with my self right now.

I have always confused myself in this way because my productivity and motivation fluctuates so. much. This week compared to last week has been night and day. Last week, I studied for two tests, wrote two scholarship essays, and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to finalize and turn in all my forms for my study abroad program before the due date. I ended the week feeling so accomplished and I even rewarded myself with a pre-weekend nap on Friday afternoon.

Last Night

I live with five other girls in one room. Everyone is coming and going; all in different stages of their night. This lends itself to very broken sleep and in the hour that it takes me to fall asleep each night, my mind wanders. While I resent this situation for the lack of sleep I have been getting throughout this entire semester, I have absolutely fallen in love with my night-time brain. It is so creative and imaginative. Last night, I fully thought out two comedy sketches and walked myself through (in my mind, of course) the exact Swedish massage I would have loved to had in that moment. Surprisingly, I think so vividly in that half-sleep, half-just laying still state. I have theorized that my thoughts truly come alive during that time because my brain subconsciously knows that physically, I am too tired to actually get up and do anything or act on the thoughts. I rarely write them down. I really need to start doing that. But, hey. That means free reign for my night-time brain. That rhymed. I love myself.

This Week

Overall, this week hasn't been great. But here is the good news: I STILL HAVE TWO MORE DAYS TO MAKE IT BETTER. I gotta do that. I am going to NOT forget my coffee at home tomorrow and I am NOT GOING TO SPEND HOURS ON TIK TOK. In fact, I may just delete it from my phone for now. Just did it; this is a good start. I also know that my head is in a bit of a weird place right now because my life is about to change. I am about to go live in another country where I don't speak the language and I don't know anyone. Studying abroad is all fun and games until you realize how homesick you'll be. But, I digress. That is a battle for another time.

Was this just the written equivalent of a vlog? I think yes. Either way, thank you for listening.