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Health and Wellness

The Voice Within

My recovery from anorexia.

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The Voice Within

Everyday life can often become stressful. Work, school, friends, and the pressures of the future all have a toll on the mind. Some people choose to cope by controlling the simple things in life that only they can control for themselves, such as eating food. It is a simple task to skip a meal or overeat because you don’t know what else to do to cope with feelings.

It may be a habit that starts here or there that then turns into a weekly thing and then into a cycle that becomes worse. Soon, this “coping” becomes a necessity and now is a part of everyday routine. It slowly creeps its way into the mind and begins to take its toll on the body. It then becomes a full-fledged monster that rears its head at any time it can. Before you know it, an eating disorder has developed, no matter how minor; it can become a real issue. Many do not believe that eating disorders are a problem, but in fact, they are a mental health issue that commonly goes unnoticed and takes a new victim every day.

The reality is that eating disorders are something that most people like to overlook or brush under the rug because they don’t want to understand that it is a deadly disease. It can take years to recover from because it never truly goes away. It becomes a habit that must be fought throughout life from the day it began.

It is someone that goes hours on end without any sort of nourishment for his or her body. They force themselves to slowly wither away from the inside out. It starts with simply cutting back, then it becomes losing the drive to eat at all because the body is slowly shutting down.

It can also take shape in the urge to eat everything in sight. The body becomes an endless vessel that cannot be filled enough. It needs anything and everything. Eventually the feasting stops and the body cannot handle anymore, so it needs to purge to feel healthy again. The binge eating and throwing up occurs. These behaviors have names like anorexia, binging, purging, and bulimia. They are all extremely dangerous to the bodies’ health and are all extremely hard to stop once started.

Take it from someone who has experienced anorexia firsthand. Trying to silence the voice in the back of my head, egging me on to continue the destructive behaviors was one of the hardest things I have faced. I felt alone and helpless. This new voice that was fighting me every step of the way knew every tactic and exactly what to say to make me give in. I was powerless against my own inner demons. I fed them by not feeding myself physically. I slowly began to wither away. It became a struggle to even function in everyday life because of the energy I no longer had and the constant pain in my stomach, my body physically begging me to eat.

It was my way of coping the only way I could. It gave me the feeling that I had complete control of at least one thing when I had truly lost all control. I had given into the mental demons that would not leave me alone. I became obsessed with my weight and my looks and in reality wanted to look “healthy” when I was the most unhealthy I had ever been.

With support from friends and family and eventually therapy, I was able to start fighting my own inner demons. I saw past the fakeness and the lies I had created and began to beat down the inner voice that only wanted me to suffer. I cannot thank those who have supported me throughout the years enough for that. The support system can sometimes be the hardest thing to face because of fear of judgment and rejection when in reality they are the best defense against yourself. All of these are reasons why awareness needs to be brought to this issue.

With over one million men and women suffering from an eating disorder and actual mortality rates being around four to five percent of those who suffer from these diseases according to EatingDisorderHope.com, something needs to be done. The media tide has begun to change in the year 2016 with stars beginning to speak out, but there is still a stigma that the level of beauty is impossible to attain. The younger generations can be the generations to make this change and actually make talking about mental diseases OK. It is important to not be ashamed of the body you have and to not be ashamed to ask for help. Mental illnesses are not something to hide, they are something to fight to overcome every day and save a life instead of cutting it off forever. Telling a survivor story makes it possible for those that see no hope to take steps closer to their own recovery instead of adding another death to the list.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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