Eating disorders are real complex and dangerous conditions that could have serious effects on your health and could also be fatal. It is a proven fact that 50 percent of teenage girl students and 30 percent of teenage boy students use unhealthy dieting behaviors such as skipping meals, purging, smoking, diet pills, and laxatives. Also, 25 percent of college-aged women use the binging and purging method to manage their weight.

There are multiple eating disorders, but the most common ones are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders. Not many people get treatment for such disorders because a majority of the time, they don't think its a problem and they are mostly done in secret. Only one third of the people who suffer with anorexia will seek out treatment. Out of the people who suffer with bulimia a total of six percent of patients obtain treatment. Lastly, close to 43 percent of people suffering with binge eating disorders seek treatment.

I have been speaking to girls, similar to me, who have spoken about their eating disorder history. Most of them told me the same thing, it was dangerous and recovery wasn't just a one time thing and suddenly you are just better. It is a choice we have to make everyday when we wake up. It starts out slow and you get sucked into the food obsession without noticing how quickly you're deteriorating.

An anonymous source explained "anorexia as feeling that you are too 'fat' or weigh to much". They continued to explain to me that their eating disorder "branched off of [their] low self-esteem because [they] would look at other girls and say 'well, she is skinnier than me' or 'why can't I be that way'."

It wasn't until their sophomore year health class that they realized they were struggling with an eating disorder. They told me that they had lost 10 percent of their body weight to this illness. They decided to seek out help with a therapist specialized in eating disorders while attending a specialized group. They reported to still having bad days, but they haven't stopped the fight. Their motivation came from family, friends, a person they liked, and of course; themselves.

I spoke with Haile Bowers, a girl I went to highschool with who also struggled with an eating disorder. She explained to me how growing up going to religious schools, then switching to a public high school was a huge change for her.

Haile stated, "I went from teachers telling me to believe in god and in yourself to teachers who just taught and students who only cared about their looks".

In a public school, most of the kids cared more about being on top then being themselves. Haile began working out and watching what she was eating. As the weight began to shed, the compliments flooded in. People would tell her to keep up the good work and how she looked great.

"I didn't realize the compliments, in a way, become a new addiction. It seemed the smaller I got, the more people would notice".

At 73 pounds, Haile was admitted into a hospital for an eating disorder. At first, she did what they told her and she sat down for every meal. When you don't believe there is a problem, you do whatever it takes to get out of where you are staying.

Haile's turning point wasn't until "This girl passed me in the hallway. She was being pushed in a wheel chair. She was scary looking, like a zombie. I looked away and thought like 'damn, how could someone be that sick?'"

Nobody who starts a diet sits there and thinks that they will get addicted to the weight loss. It starts off slow but as you start to lose the weight, your body image becomes distorted. After watching that girl pass her in the hallway, Haile realized that she actually did have a problem.

"I went into the bathroom and I walked up to the mirror. I didn't see the girl with a sparkle in her eyes. I didn't see the girl with a soul so bright that it could make anyone smile. I saw a tired, distraught zombie. I broke, but I didn't. I realized that I was sick! I realized that I had an eating disorder, I realized that I needed help. So, I worked hard, I stayed confident. Not one feeding tube would ever be forced in me. By the end of my hospital journey, I was considered on of the fastest recovering girls with an eating disorder. To this day, I never relapsed." ~Haile Bowers

As for me, for as long as I remember I have always struggled with body image. I would try to fit in with people who I always thought were pretty. In middle school, I moved from Maryland to New Jersey and went from living in a house with just 1 family to a house with my mom's best friends family as well. You could sense that bonds were starting to break and everyone became distant. That was a huge stressor for me because normal wasn't normal anymore. In school I was okay until people made fun of me for being too fat or too ugly. Things were bad. I was a whore for trying to find myself while trying to hide myself. I would skip my lunch just so I didn't have to be surrounded by people. In two years time, my family moved from New Jersey to Philadelphia. I had to change schools once again and the abuse didn't stop even with a new start.

The kids would tell me I looked like a girl version of Michael Jackson. They would constantly tell me how pretty all the other girls were compared to me. And I knew that. I would skip breakfast and put on make up just to be a pretty girl. By my sophomore year in highschool I lost a total of 38 pounds. I was admitted to a hospital not only for an eating disorder but for suicidal ideation as well. I went into this hospital at 102 pounds and came out 98 because it wasn't an eating disorder based hospital.

I attended groups until I was a normal weight and have been seeing the same one on one therapist who specializes in eating disorders ever since. I couldn't tell you that I haven't relapsed. There are days I wake up and do body checks and there are days I can't fight that voice in my head telling me that I will 'never be skinny enough'. I can tell you, however, that I will never stop trying.

Eating disorder recovery, like I said in the beginning, is never simple. It's a choice a person has to make everyday. It is something we all struggle with. Haile taught me to be okay with that. At the end of the day, it is apart of who we are. It's a chapter in our story and our fight song. It isn't something to be glorified and it isn't something I could ever wish on anyone.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder reach out for help. Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you stronger.

Crisis Call Center: 800-273-8255 or text "answer" to 839863

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders: 630-577-1330

NEDA (national eating disorders association): 800-931-2237