Just like many other mental illnesses, eating disorders are something that people take very lightly, often in a joking manner. I was once watching an interview on the internet where Megan Trainer claimed she wasn't strong enough to have an eating disorder. Strong enough? Are you kidding me? Many people associate eating disorders with extreme discipline. One of my friends at school once told me, "your body is perfect, I wish I could eat like you." Little did she know that I was intaking a maximum of 600 calories per day and ensuring that I burned off triple that amount. Little did she know that my hair was coming out in clumps, that I was tired all the time, that I was literally constantly freezing cold (my hands were a permanent shade of light purple), and that my blood pressure was slowly dwindling downwards. But hey, it's all worth it to be thin, right? Wrong!
Eating disorders are not a choice. Losing weight becomes an addiction. Every time the scale drops, it's like an adrenaline rush; a little bit of success. Eating becomes a chore rather than a necessity. And, I for one, push off every chore that needs my attention: cleaning my room, putting away my make up, whatever. With eating, I was the same way. I'd push it off until absolutely necessary and, even then, I'd limit it to the extreme.
What needs to be reiterated and understood is that this is not a choice. I made so many promises to myself during my struggle -- that this would be the last time I snuck away to work out, that next time there's cake, I'll eat it. What I came to realize is that it wasn't me making these promises -- it was my anorexia. An eating disorder is sort of like a demon invading your brain. It distorts all your thoughts. It makes you view the good things in your life as enemies -- food, your family, your friends. No matter how good food looks or smells, intaking it is simply not a choice. Just the thought of it can bring you to tears and make your heart rate accelerate. Your favorite foods slowly become your biggest fears. Even though you're eating close to nothing, body checks become a common thing; baggy clothes are like a trophy.
Usually, the idea of an addiction is associated with a substance, such as alcohol or narcotics. However, dependencies upon behaviors are just as serious of a problem. In fact, The American Society of Addiction Medicine recently broadened their definition of an addiction to include "process" addictions. Eating disorders are often associated with a lack of eating, but it is just insanely taboo to assume that's all there is to it. There is such a wide variety of eating disorders. To just name a few, there's anorexia, orthorexia, bulimia, over eating disorder.. the list goes on. And giving into the behaviors has the same effect on the body as abusing certain substances does -- it stimulates the reward center of your brain in an inappropriate manner. You feel like you have a sense of control over something and, as a result, you have a momentary sense of relief and possibly even happiness.
This behavior, it becomes your life. Like any other addiction, a healthy distraction is needed in order to sever the bond. Take on drawing, writing, knitting, cooking, whatever your heart and soul enjoys! And, just like with substance abuse, there are rehabilitation facilities to help stimulate eating disorder recovery. Many eating disorder patients even use the "12 Step Program" in a slightly modified manner. A group that I was part of, studied a slightly more lenient version of this.
Society needs to stop praising undernourished bodies and proclaiming them as "goals." It is a trigger and feeds into the demons. Anorexia, an eating disorder characterized by extreme restriction and over exercising, is the most fatal mental illness. Eating disorders need to be treated as seriously as any other addiction.
