Dwight K. Schrute's 20 Best Moments on "The Office" | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Dwight K. Schrute's 20 Best Moments on "The Office"

As told by one of his #1 fans

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Dwight K. Schrute's 20 Best Moments on "The Office"

" The Office" is and will always be one of the best shows that NBC has ever come up with. And Dwight K. Schrute is by far one of the funniest characters on the show. Let's take a look at some of his famous quotes throughout the show:

1. Loyalty: “Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.”

2. 
Speed Scale: “I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.”

3. Security: “Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?”

4. Superior Brain Power: “Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.”

5. Friends: “And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.”

6. The Person You Least, Medium, and Most Suspect: “It’s never the person who you most suspect. It’s also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis…the person who I most medium suspect.”

7. Pull the Plug: 
“As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is put it out of its misery. With the electricity we are using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical.”

8. Accidentally vs. On Purpose: “People say, ‘oh, it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace.’ Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.”

9. Ideal Choice: 
“Once I’m officially Regional Manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So, I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.”

10. Immunity Logic: 
“The principle is sound. To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this… Maybe they have something against living forever.”

11. Water Cooler Gossip: 
“It’s a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.”

12. All These People: “Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”


13. Attention: 
“You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.”

14. Love: “All you need is love. False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food, and shelter.”

15. Idiot: “Before I do anything I ask myself, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.”

16. Challenges: “I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me.”

17. D.W.I.G.H.T: "D.W.I.G.H.T – Determined, Worker, Intense, Good worker, Hard worker, Terrific."

18. Coworkers: "I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions."

19. I Don't Believe You: “I don’t believe you, continue.”

20. Ben Franklin: "I don’t care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99 percent sure.
"


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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