Ending up in jail is easy in Texas. It will always have my heart though!

1. It is illegal to sell one’s eye.

I see these dealers selling one eye. It makes me wonder, why not sell both?

2. It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

Please stick to milking your own cow.

3. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Bud light isn't all that bad. Why waste time making your own.

4. In Lefors, Texas, it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Just sit down and drink the whole can. It easier that way!

5. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

If you want to shoot a buffalo, just climb another flight of stairs please.

6. It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos, in Dallas.

Stick to those colorful, fake-looking ones.

7. There is a city ordinance that states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special $5 permit.

Pay a small fee and be shoes-free!

8. In Clarendon, It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

Please stick to feather dusting your own home.

9. You can go to jail if you eat your neighbor’s garbage without their permission.

Follow that law and eat out of your own trash.

10. It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers.

You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.