Every time people were mean to me growing up, I'd come home from school crying and Mom would hug me. Dad would get home from work, calmly say, "I'm sorry people were mean to you today."

My reaction to his sweet comment would then give him the green light to give me the 'hard truth.'

"Be a duck, not a sponge," he'd say with a "I'm right and we both know it" kind of smile.

That little analogy that I used to roll my eyes at every time I heard it now has changed my entire perspective on mean people.

See, a duck can swim in water and not sink. The water rolls right off their curved backs and back into the water, not even threatening to weigh the duck down into the water.

On the other hand, a sponge soaks up the water around it and eventually must be squeezed out, potentially causing a big mess of water coming out of the holes.

This concept was probably the biggest struggle I had to face in high school. Growing up in London, England from ages 13-17 brought a new level of "high school sucks" into my reality.

Besides two girls I've known since I was 2-years-old, I had no one to turn to when I moved. I was about to walk into a new, huge international school not knowing one single soul there, or even anyone in the same country for that matter.

However, starting from the beginning of 8th grade, I found my group immediately. They were the popular ones in our grade, yes, but that's not why I liked them. I was automatically drawn to them because they were welcoming, somehow convincing me that their fake smiles were genuine interest.

Missing all of these warning signs that my "friends" were actually the meanest of mean girls, I continued to take pride in the comradery that I had only hoped of finding when I moved to London.

That was until they started shutting me out. Physically turning their backs on me, uninviting me to group gatherings, making fun of me on Facebook and harassing me over text about untrue rumours and gross boys.

I mistook their incessant need for control for true, loving friendship. I mistook their constant, hidden manipulation for kindness, as I was my typical vulnerable, "sweet, sweet Katie Bug" causing me to end up on flat on my face after it was all said and done.

After giving these cruel little girls more than enough grace, I decided enough was enough, and I quickly found a new group of girls to have by my side. But I bet you can guess how this next bit goes, right?

The same exact stuff: exclusion, hurtful cyber bullying, and unnecessary hurtfulness towards me for absolutely no reason.

Now hear me out, I am not saying that I'm the perfect friend or girl, I'm not even claiming to be close to a perfect person. I have so many flaws I could go on for days explaining them to you.

I am one of those girls that has a heart for others. God has given me so much passion for those who are suffering that the only way I can feel good about myself each day is by consciously going out of my way to someone else feel good about his/herself.

So when it seemed like every attempt at friendship ended up with brutal hits to my self-esteem, I felt hopeless to even try to find one girl who was different. I didn't understand why I could be so kind to others and still getting eaten by the mean girls in my life.

It was then that I (finally) came to college, beyond ecstatic to meet good girls - great friends to treasure for the rest of my life. But that's not exactly how it went down, of course.

The same high school drama keeps happening, except only in college there's no one to help me through the misery except my twin bed and some old care-package candy my mom sent a few months ago.

For us girls, these difficulties start to weigh on us and keep us down, forcing us to believe that there's something wrong with who we are as people - as young women - even though we know for a fact that is not the case. So how do we go about dealing with these witches all around us?

We stop getting so worked up about it. Yes, it's unfair; yes, it's cruel. Regardless of what you did or didn't do, you don't deserve to be treated like you're disposable. You deserve friends who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated - like you matter, because you do. But sitting there profusely angry because someone as vile as her doesn't care about you is no way to live.

Think logically. I know, you constantly ask yourself why that cute boy is with that mean girl instead of you. I know she glared at you when you smiled at him, but if this boy is spending his time and energy loving a mean girl like that, do you really want to be with him? Do you really think a boy who would chose a girl like her over you deserve a girl like you?

Know you're worth. Know what you deserve from friends and just from people in general. Know when to put your foot down and when it's time to walk away from a draining person. You are beautifully and wonderfully made but some girls will do absolutely everything in their power to contradict that, but even worse, they'll try to convince you of it, too. If you know that you are worth real friendship and real love from the girls you dedicate your time to, the painful period of waiting to find those good girls will be so worth it in the end.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Even though you should not, under any circumstances, be a doormat to people who will happily walk all over you, I am also a firm believer in being kind to those who have hurt you. Not paying any mind to them other than to acknowledge their existence in passing is good enough, too, if that's all you can manage. We all understand.

Don't give them the satisfaction. They can't be mean to someone who isn't by their side, waiting to be beaten. You're not her puppy dog and you know it. No one wants to be mean just for the hell of it; each little dig has an intentional purpose to cause you pain, and if you let that hurt you, she wins. Don't let the bitch win.

If I let every thing that mean people in this world said or did bother me, I'd be a pretty dirty sponge.

But if I continue to remind myself to act like a duck swimming in a pond and let the mean words roll right off my back, my self-worth won't even begin to come into question. My final advice is to just let it go. If you don't let it go, you will never move on past the hurt.

You're better than those mean girls, you just have to keep believing it.