Chances are, you are either in a sorority or know someone that is. Either way, we've all seen the movie "Legally Blonde," and you're probably wondering to what degree I am going to confirm or deny the stereotype that is Elle Woods.
The reality is there is good and bad in everything, and this isn't the exception.
A sorority can be powerful. One hundred and fifty motivated women, all with dynamic and unique strengths, banded together. They are capable of incredible accomplishments: community, philanthropy, leadership, and even friendship. That's what drew me to join a sorority in the first place. The sad truth, however, is that some things aren't meant to stay in your life forever. Over time, they can become redundant and even problematic to your mental health.
Nearly everyone who has been in a sorority will at some point threaten their membership, promising they are going to "drop" from their beloved sisterhood when things don't go their way. Well, I actually did.
I still find myself humming little sorority chants in the shower, but I haven't regretted my decision. When you are no longer making forward progress, you have to make changes in your life that will be beneficial to yourself. I don't feel like I need to defend the way I feel, but this isn't one of those "I hated my sorority" articles. I speak solely from my own knowledge and experience of sorority life. I was an active member of my chapter and in the community, before I disaffiliated, and I don't hold any grudge toward the organization I left behind, so I consider myself a reliable source.
Sorority women are opportunists. They are constantly looking for the next best thing to get involved in. In many ways, involvement is good. I'm one of those people that loves to load as much as I can on my plate. The problem begins when you are doing it for the wrong reasons. You're no longer volunteering for the purpose of helping the community, you're doing it because you have to. You're not going to a sisterhood retreat to get to know new people, you're going so that you won't get fined. You're not even attending a philanthropy event to promote an important cause, you're there to get a participation point and a good Instagram picture that makes it look like you're having fun.
And that's the tea, sis.
It's easy to become a product of the system, and getting out of that mindset is difficult. When you start doing things because someone is making you, or for some kind of personal gain, life becomes a chore, and to some extent, that's what I feel happened to me.
There's a lot of pressure to present yourself and your chapter a certain way, and I became increasingly uncomfortable with trying to keep up the front. The tier system is an unofficial classification of sororities and fraternities solely based on physical appearance and social status. It's not hard to get caught up. From the time that you go through sorority recruitment, it's drilled into your head which sororities are "good" and which are "bad." Sororities are often judged, not by their accomplishments and their internal qualities, but by external and superficial qualities. No one should have to subject themselves to being classified on a scale of worthiness.
By identifying yourself with the letters of a chapter, you take on all of the stereotypes of that chapter. You become less of an individual, and more of a person grouped in with everyone else. I'm aware that many people have had a different experience than me, but I feel that being in a sorority held me back from completely being myself and growing as a person. I set my passions on the back burner to pursue my sorority career, and almost forgot what really matters to me. College should be about exploring yourself and your interests. I spent a lot of time doing things I didn't have any interest in, and I became rather stuck in a place of unhappiness both with my life and myself.
The main reason why I delayed my exit for so long was my sorority family. While we may not be family by blood, we may as well be. We chose each other, and because of that, we have created a bond - unlike anything you could experience outside of a Greek environment. I genuinely love them, and I didn't want to disappoint the people who were the reason I was even still around. Even more so, I didn't want to risk losing a support system as great as they are. They are still here for me now, and I have no doubt that they will be around when I'm old and gray.
I will never regret joining a sorority, I do believe in some ways it shaped me into the person I am. I gained a lot of meaningful experiences and friends that I know I'll have years after college. If you're on the fence about leaving your organization, consider this: you have four years in college. Don't waste precious time involved in something if it is holding you back from being the person you want to become. Surround yourself with people and things that lift you up, not bring you down. I finally realized it was time for me to make a big-girl decision because, quite frankly, I grew up, and my sorority didn't grow with me.
