Yeah, I dropped a class in college. Some people do, some people don’t. Whether you do or do not doesn’t define you as a person or as a student.

I was so excited when I placed into Spanish 301 as a first-year student. Spanish had always been an easy subject for me, and while I wasn’t the strongest at speaking off-the-cuff, I was confident that I’d do well in the class. Spanish had always been easy. How would I have begun to think differently about the subject in a college setting? So when I couldn’t fit 301 in my schedule in the fall, I decided to take Spanish 302, an advanced grammar and composition course, in the spring instead. I didn’t need to take it for any part of my degree, but I was excited to continue learning about the language in a higher education setting.

And what a mistake that was, taking the course for credit. Instead of auditing, where I wouldn’t get a grade for the class, I registered for it, and I was taking the course just as any Spanish major or minor would. Every other person had just come from 301, a class focused on discussion and vocabulary. I’m not a Spanish major or minor, so my first strike was being one of the only non-major people in the course, and someone who didn’t just have a semester of Spanish to back them up. I hadn’t spoken, read, or written in the language for a good six months.

My second strike? Getting the first quiz back – an easy quiz, in my mind, and seeing a big 76 on the top of the paper. I had never gotten anything lower than an 88 on a Spanish assessment before. It was a slap across the face. I went to office hours and nearly cried – I knew why I had gotten the answers wrong, but I believed them to be right on the quiz – and that was a huge problem, in my book.

Third strike and the out? The stress the class was causing in my everyday life. I would come to class in a panic, and worry why everything made sense and then didn’t when it came time for the quizzes. I love Spanish. My participation grade was near-perfect. But something wasn’t clicking with these concepts. They were more specific and more in-depth than they had been in high school. I knew all the verb conjugations, but not the specifics of how and when to use them. I no longer felt confident about something that had been second-nature in my past.

I withdrew from the class around halfway through the semester. I had had enough with not doing well in a class I loved and held so close to my heart. My professor was wonderful, my classmates were thoughtful and kind, but I couldn’t justify taking an elective and not doing well. I’m a good student, but when most of my classes are 1- and 2-credit classes, my 4-credit Spanish elective was seriously impacting my GPA. So I did what any person would do: I dropped the class.

But I’m not admitting defeat. I refuse to let this class, and this struggle, define me. I am more than a student struggling with Spanish grammar. I took this class for fun, and when it wasn’t fun anymore, I couldn’t justify staying in the class.

I stand by my decision. Who knows, maybe if I ever have some free space in my schedule, I’ll try again. This semester wasn’t the semester. But if the department welcomed me with open arms this semester, I have no doubt they will welcome me again in the future.