Sometimes we keep toxic people in our lives because we don't realize how toxic they are, we're holding onto those memories of the kind person they once were, or we think it's just a matter of time before they change for the better. Whatever the reason, keeping a toxic person in your life is nothing but trouble. When considering the amount of time they've spent in your life, that reason alone shouldn't be the determining factor for keeping them around. If you notice one or more of the following red flags, it's about time you drop that person from your life and move onto a healthier you.
They Always Lie To You
When you ask them a question you already know the answer to and you can verify their answer is a lie, it's downright hurtful. If you know they frequently lie to you, even for the most minuscule things, it's hard to consider that person trustworthy. In any type of relationship, trust is a key component to maintaining a strong bond and without it, you'll find yourself second-guessing everything they tell you. When you can't believe anything they say, there's no way of determining if it's actually the truth this time or just another lie.
It's A 'One-Sided' Friendship
Every healthy friendship is a two-way effort, so if you add nothing to it, you can't expect everything in return. When you find yourself always making an effort to spend time with them but don't feel like it's being reciprocated, you're probably the only reason that friendship is still alive. If you're there for them when they need someone to talk to but they're nowhere in sight once you need the same, they're not giving you the same level of consideration that a good friend would. When it's always and only about them, they'll never allow time for it to be about you.
Everything's A Competition
Let's say you just met a super sweet, very attractive guy/girl and you've been in that 'talking phase' with them for some time now. You finally introduce them to your friend and as time passes, you witness your friend noticeably flirting with them. Perhaps they've even tried convincing you that the guy/girl likes them, instead of you, and you find yourself in a constant cycle of the same situation, time after time. If you've got a friend who always has to compete with you and feels the need to have what you want, they're not actually your friend.
You're Their 'Back-Up Plan'
If you have a friend who cancels plans with you as soon as a better option presents itself, odds are they're not a good friend. When they only hang out with you because everyone else was unavailable or they need a place to crash, they're just using you. They don't consider you a friend, they're just keeping you around for when it's beneficial to them.
You Have All The Connections
Exclusive parties, clubs, and events boost the desire or demand for an invite. Whether it's due to wealth or who you know, if someone is only calling you up to ask about access to that special event, they're only your friend for the connections you have. Once they no longer need a way into the selective venues or the 'it' party that weekend, you'll likely never hear from them again.
They Don't Have Your Best Interest At Heart
Once they hurt you or do something to really p*ss you off, it makes a difference in what their intentions were. If they did something to spite you or to get some sort of advantage over you, that's not having a good intention. When they sleep with your boyfriend or talk badly about you to a guy to increase their chances, that's nowhere close to being a good friend. Having your best interest at heart and unintentionally hurting you is something that can be forgiven. Doing something to anger them and benefit yourself isn't having good intentions and isn't being a friend.
They Talk Sh*t About You
When they tell people your most insecure and embarrassing secrets or simply insult you when you're not around, they aren't actually your friend. Once you reach the point where you can expect them to talk bad about you every time you're not with them, they clearly don't care about you. A friend would keep your secrets and speak highly of you, so if that's not the case, that's not a friend.
You Cringe Hanging Out With Them
Whether it's something annoying or angering they always say or just that you simply can't stand their presence, you shouldn't hang out with them. When you make plans with them but secretly get excited when they cancel or say it's fine if you can't make it, that's not a good indicator that you enjoy their company. Finding yourself relieved when you don't have to spend time with them perhaps means that you shouldn't make any more plans with them from here on out. If you can't stand being around them every time you're together, maybe it's best to part ways once and for all.
You Dread Getting A Text From Them
Technology makes it easy to quickly say what you want, but that's not always a good thing. If you get a text or notification from them and feel your stomach drop, that's not a healthy relationship. Once you can predict them sending a nasty, angry text before you even unlock your phone, you shouldn't be texting them anymore. If their texts make you angry or stressed, it's more than okay to leave them on 'read' and leave them out of your life.
You Don't Know Why You're Friends With Them
Maybe you've been friends for years and years, perhaps since you were kids. Maybe they helped you through a rough patch in your life. Maybe you feel like you 'owe it' to them to stay friends. If you can relate and still are questioning if they're a toxic friend, then they are. The amount of time someone has spent in your life shouldn't be the only reason you keep them around. People change and even if they've been a great friend in the past, it doesn't mean they haven't become a toxic friend now. If you have to ask yourself why you're friends with them and can't give someone an answer when they ask you, you simply shouldn't be friends.
Keeping toxic people in your life only drains you of your energy. If they aren't contributing anything positive to your life, you should reconsider why they're in it. Never be afraid to rid of someone toxic from your life because once you do, you'll become a healthier, happier you.
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