Over the past few months, there has been one question that everyone seems to ask me. They ask “Why did you transfer schools?!” with such eagerness and confusion. I understand why they always ask me this, I had been attending the school I had been raving about since sophomore year of high school. In the fall, I packed up my things to go to my “dream” school in California. But, it became clear to me relatively soon after I arrived in California, I was not going to stay at that school for four years.

So what do you do when you get to your dream school and it is nothing like you expected yet it is everything you hoped it wouldn’t be? Well in my experience, I guess you transfer. But that idea of leaving the thing you had so longed for seems unbearable.

Growing up in Massachusetts, I always hated the winter, and college was my escape from the cold dark months I hated so much. It was a chance to move to a place where creativity thrived. A place I felt was everything I wanted and more. But sadly, I was faced with the grim reality that although a place may appear to have everything you want, it is not always what you need.

It’s funny, actually ironic, that the thing I wanted to run away from, Massachusetts, was exactly what I needed. I needed to be in a place where I was challenged, where I could find beauty in the dark cold winters.

Transferring is scary and theres really no simple way to describe what makes someone want to transfer. There is a massive stigma around transferring schools when in reality, around 35% of all undergraduates transfer sometime in their four years.

I always pictured this typical four year college experience. But where’s the fun in that? Why are we programmed to think that if you don’t do that you aren't normal? I’d love to see a Hollywood movie about the real college experience, a transfer experience.

I think, actually I know, that everyone who decides to transfer schools does it for their own complicated, personal reasons. So why does everyone expect a simple answer when they ask why did you transfer? It’s just like when someone is picking schools to apply to senior year of high school. They can’t explain every reason as to why they want to attend that school, its complicated, it’s a feeling that engulfs you physically and emotionally.

People can and probably will continue to ask me why I transferred and that’s okay. They will never know every single reason why, and they shouldn't have to. I am as happy as I have ever been and who knew in order to be this happy, I would return to the thing I thought made me sad, the cold dark winters of Massachusetts.