Recently, I’ve been living two lives. One I quite enjoy, and the other I dread.
This summer, I am working as a camp counselor. It is truly exhausting. I deal with bullies, whiners, pant-wetters, and trouble-makers day in and day out. I slink through nine hours of pure torture every day with more than 25 seven year olds. After I’m done entertaining them, I spend my evenings entertaining families through various camp activities. That’s right, you can find me dressed in old pioneer clothes every Tuesday night freezing my hands off making your snow cones or trying to prevent your kids from running through the knife-throwing game. And just when I think the week of terror is over, I am left to tromp through the woods for hours cleaning and preparing cabins for the new campers. How exciting. Nothing is harder than trying to figure out how in the world I’m going to make it through the end of the week.
You’ve heard about the life I dread, but how about the one I enjoy? The one that exists at night.
At night, all the staff is off. That means night games, movie nights, and midnight fast-food runs. I get to talk to people my own age and relax after a stressful day. I get to crack jokes that people actually understand. I get to spend time with people who make me happy. But, all the while, in the back of my head, I am thinking ahead to how terrible and long the next day is going to be. I am literally unable to enjoy the little free-time I have.
I’ve been working a lot on rewiring my brain. I know that when I get to work each day, it goes by so fast. It isn’t at all bad. Nine hours goes by in a flash and evening activities are a breeze. Spending my otherwise enjoyable nights dreading the morrow is pointless.
This summer, I am working as a camp counselor. It is truly rewarding. I have learned how to deal with bullies, whiners, pant-wetters, and trouble-makers. That’ll help me be a great mom one day. I get to spend nine hours every day with 25 seven year olds who want to play kickball and build sand-castles. They tell the most adorable stories and talk my ear off about the most innocent topics ever -- ants and butterflies. After I’m done entertaining them, I get to dress up real cute and make a family’s night by giving them free snow cones. And just when I think the week of excitement is over, I get to spend time alone in the woods listening to podcasts and making beds. How exciting! Nothing is easier than having a clear schedule of fun activities to do every week.
There is no point in dreading the unchangeable future. And taking that one step further, what you might expect your future to look like is usually rather far off from the reality of it. Life, in general, is pretty good. Live in the moment. Embrace the hardships and be thankful for the peace when it comes. Things aren’t all the bad, and if they are, look around the corner for the light.
