From the time we are young children, we are taught to express ourselves, to not be close-minded and to be accepting of others. To never “judge a book by its cover” and to treat others how we would like to be treated. But as we grow older, that narrative slowly transitions into one that preaches a very different gospel. We are inversely taught how to be accepted in America as black youths which ironically requests us to dilute those very characteristics we grew up freely expressing.

The way you wear your hair has always been a big part of self-expression which is why it is one of the easiest ways to judge a person.

Hair was never really a big thing to me; mine was always cut low and brushed, with that occasional period when I’d let it grow into a fro. Over time as I began to freely express myself through clothing and music, my hair naturally followed suit. I’ve experienced the reactions to me styling my hair and dying it but once I made the decision to lock my hair, is when I really discovered the pivotal role that hair plays into the way you are perceived.

At first, it wasn’t that big of a deal because they were really small and most didn’t believe that I would be keeping them for long. But as time passed and my locks flourished, I would hear more and more commentary on my hair. I would get the question “Are you going to let them grow out,” and watch as they frowned when I affirmed their fears.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is all coming from a good place. That you want me to have the easiest road to success, rather than allow me to hinder my chances in making it in society because of my dreaded hair.

And I really do appreciate your concern but I will not allow myself to disguise who I am to comfort others.

I understand that at 5’11 225 lbs, dreads make me an ideal candidate to be somewhere running a football, but I will not feed into society’s stereotype of who I should be. This may make many uncomfortable, but I am an educated black man who is seeking a degree in journalism for the simple fact that I will one day be able to prove that my talent will open the door for the next “nappy headed youngin” to follow in my footsteps.

We live in a beautiful time where black women are becoming more accepting of their natural hair and allowing it to grow and flourish instead of relaxing it to give in to social norms. Where black men like myself are continuing to push the envelope on what’s socially acceptable even if that means being denied acceptance by those who rather mask their true self.

Many of our parents may say that this generation is hard-headed and rebellious and I agree. I believe that this new generation provides hope for the future of our black youth. Hope that they can one day be unapologetically authentic and true to who they are.

That’s why I let these dreads grow, I’ll never fit your f******g crown
– Wale, Intro About Nothing

Once you allow yourself to become comfortable with the status quo, all hope for progress is lost.