So the 6 God (Drake) pulled a Queen Bey and randomly blessed us all with his album/mix tape, If You're Reading This It's Too Late. Chaos ensued. The internet almost broke. Fire, straight fire, man...
Here are my favorite super witty lines from the album:
From "Energy"
I got money in the courts so all my ****** are free / Bout to call your *** an Uber, I got somewhere to be
The thought of Drake calling an Uber is hilarious. He'd definitely give straight five-star ratings.
"10 Bands"
I get boxes of free Jordan like I play for North Carolina / How much I make off the deal? How the **** should I know?
I consider this an imaginary nod to Wake Forest because, you know, we play UNC. Thanks, Drake!
"Know Yourself"
Shakiness, man I don't have no time for that / My city too turned up, I'll take the fine for that.
Who has time for shakiness? Ugh, it's just the worst. Stay un-shaky, Winston-Salem.
"No Tellin"
I mean besides Ricky Ross, Aubrey the biggest boss here!
After hearing this line, Rick Ross ate a pear and then said, "Shout out to all the pear."
"6 Man"
Fieri, I'm in the kitchen, I'm a magician / I'm on it, I'm like Macgyver, I'm Michael Myers.
In "6 Man," Drake channels the Food Network's "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" host, Guy Fieri. I wonder how Chef Curry feels after hearing this.
"6 PM In New York"
It's so childish calling my name on the world stage / You need to act your age and not your girl's age.
Drake calls out Tyga -- and his rumored girlfriend, Kylie Jenner -- for dissing him. Ouch.
And here are a few more runner-ups, because, like I said, STRAIGHT FIRE:
"Legend"
On my way / Money taught me Spanish, make it andale.
"Energy"
I got people talkin down, man, like I give a **** / I bought this one a purse, I bought this one a truck / I bought this one a house, I bought this one a mall / I keep buying ****, just make sure you keep track of it all
"10 Bands"
Soda dirty like Diana, never clean / My ex asked me, "Where you movin?" I said, "On to better things."