Kids don't have much of a filter. They just say what pops into their head, without even thinking. It's not like they MEAN to be rude when they say that the neighbor looks gross and should put a shirt on while he's mowing the lawn, or ask why the lady down in the aisle in Walmart is so large. They're curious, and like to share their observations with people around them. They don't know how to play the grown-up game of polite white lies, preserving an image. And you know what? That's totally cool. Kids only know how to be honest, and that's not something to criticize.
However, it does lead to some pretty funny situations.
A little background: I work at a Chick-fil-A inside a mall food court. We get all sorts of people, especially families. As someone who swoons every time I see a cute baby, it's the perfect job for me (or maybe not, since I tend to gush about how cute the babies are instead of… well, you know, work…).
One fine afternoon, I was out in our dining room, cleaning off tables. The only customers in there at the time were this mom and her daughter, who was about seven or eight. Obviously, I wasn't trying to listen in on them, but my other option was humming along to the acoustic versions of KLOVE songs we play in the dining room.
Anyway, I heard the little girl ask, "Mommy, what's she doing?" I was the only other person there, of course, so obviously, she was talking about me. I smiled to myself as the mom started talking my job up, all, "Oh, she works here! She's probably in high school, and this is her job, and it's really cool!" It was honestly so sweet to hear, this mom being so positive and encouraging.
"Oh, wow!" the girl said. "Mommy, when I'm in high school, I want to have a job and be just like her!"
At this point, I'm absolutely melting. The has to be the most adorable interaction I've seen at work. I'm hardly keeping myself together enough to clean the table I'm at and not let them know I can hear about them. This is just the cutest, sweetest, most adorable thing I've ever witnessed, and they're talking about me, and I am absolutely dying inside at this point.
And then, the little girl kept talking. "I want to have a job and be just like her," she'd said. And after that?
"Only I don't want to be ugly."
Never in my life have I been roasted so badly. Never have I seen such a plot twist. I wasn't even mad. I've been around kids enough to know you can't be offended at something like that. In fact, It was hilarious. I don't know how the mom reacted because I had to run to the back because I was about to start laughing so hard and now I REALLY didn't want that mom knowing I'd heard them. By the time that I'd finally managed to compose myself and go back out there, the mom and her daughter were long gone.
Since that infamous day over a year ago, I've told all my coworkers about the incident. It's become a bit of a legend at our store, "That One Time A 7-Year-Old Just Tore Her Life To Absolute Shreds." To date, I've never been dragged so hard.
There are a couple things I wish I could say to the wonderful people who made this happen, the people who gave me the best story I've ever managed to remember about myself, the people who made my mundane closing shift in the middle of winter that much better.
To that mom, somewhere out in the world: Don't worry. Your daughter didn't insult me, and I'm not mad. I hope you see this, so you can know that poor, ugly high school junior wasn't hurt by what your daughter said. Kids will be kids, and sometimes that means they say stuff that embarrasses their parents. I get it, and it's okay.
To that girl, who's still probably too young to read this: Honey, I really hope your mom remembers this story and tells it to you because GIRL IT IS HILARIOUS. Besides, I'm not even ugly anymore, so it's all good!
To any fast food workers or anyone else insulted by a random child in public: Don't get mad when kids say stuff in public. Don't make a scene, don't tell the parent to raise their kid better. Just ignore it, or if you can't, laugh and say it's okay. Because sometimes, no matter how polite you teach your kid to be, they're going to spit out something like "Mommy, if that man had a beard he could be Santa Claus!" and the mom is going to be mortified. Don't make it worse, okay? Be a decent human being.
To all the kids out there: Don't stop being honest, because it's really, REALLY funny.
