Throughout my life, I have always felt as if I was going "along for the ride." What does it mean exactly? Well, I always thought that it meant that I didn't know where I was going, or perhaps I didn't always have what I needed for my destination but I would always go and be "along for the ride." However, I recently have had a change in heart. While yes, I still want to go and enjoy the journey that life is and go to reach my destination, I am starting to notice that I am not the one who has been controlling it.
All in all, I have always tried to be a people pleaser. Meaning, I always want to make others happy. Now I know that is not a bad thing in any way, the world could use a few happier people and if I can help that then I would do anything in my power make it happen. But, I've realized that I have given so much of myself to others, trying to make them happy, that I haven't left much room to make myself happy. It constantly feels like I am being dragged "along for the ride" by other people to keep them happy or the fulfill their needs, yet I'm at the back end constantly being hit by the bumps in the road.
Looking back on life and even some recent events and relationships, I noticed a pattern. It always felt like I wasn't important. I always felt and still do feel like my voice constantly gets shut down and my opinion or feelings when it comes to just about anything doesn't matter. When it comes to people, they were always more important and their needs always overshadowed mine. I constantly have been pressured or at least attempted to be pressured into doing things that I do not want to do, nor do I feel comfortable doing. Whenever I expressed this discomfort or whatnot, I would be questioned, mocked, pitied, or ignored.
I see now, that those people in my life and living that lifestyle is toxic and definitely not something that I need in my life or frankly that anyone needs in their life. Its time to take the wheel on the ride that is life and steer it for yourself, no longer being dragged "along for the ride."
