Last week, the movie Get Out was released into theatres and it caused some major conversations across social media. I haven’t gone to see the movie yet, for reasons beyond my control. (My friends say that I’m too “negro-centric” to watch a move like that with them and that they’d get tired of my commentary.) However, the movie’s casting arrangement has really made me think about interracial dating and how it applies to me.

First, let me say that I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with interracial couples. I try not to judge others by their choices because it’s their life! They’re the ones who have to live it – not me. What I have noticed, however, is the hypocrisy within the black community about interracial dating.

It is very true that black girls are probably the only race of people who have to worry about whether or not a black man likes black girls. Some people in other races simply do not understand that, but it is something that black women have to deal with everyday. The often stereotypical reason for black men to be drawn to women of other colors and nationalities has to do with submission. Apparently, black women are too loud and controlling and black men would rather have someone who sits around and lets them walk all over them. I really don’t know!

The hypocritical part about it all, however, is this: the black community completely criticizes black men, who after their bank account and reputation hit a significant climax, automatically pursue a white woman; but the black community has all kinds of heart eyes for beautiful black women who find them a white man and settle down, regardless of their social or economic standing, on the basis of the two having “some cute kids with good hair”. It seems that the “swirl” only works if the woman is black and the man is white; not the other way around.

So, where do I stand in all of this? Once again, I don’t care either way. Love is love. Black, white, gay, straight… We all deserve to be loved and to freely love who we love. However, when it comes down to deciding whether I’d be able to date a white man or not, I’d honestly have to say that I really don’t know.

I’m too outspoken about the issues that affect the black community. I’m also very defensive, so a heated debate about those issues wouldn’t end well for me. I just don’t think that a white man would understand my stance in the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Though he might’ve been a Hillary or a Bernie supporter, and might hate Donald Dump as much as I do, there’s still a good chance that he’d yell out that all lives matter during adversity and I just can’t handle that. If my own boyfriend is blind to the issues that affect me everyday – the fact that I could leave home and be murdered by a police officer at any point – shows that he doesn’t care about my well-being and should not be dating me. If he isn’t conscious of his white privilege and isn’t prepared to forfeit it for a relationship with me, I couldn’t take him seriously.

For that reason, I believe that it would be best for me to leave the swirl alone. I wouldn’t want to date someone who I’d constantly have to debate with, or who I’d have to cling to at his family’s events for fear of that one old uncle who still hates people of color, or someone who would let me walk all over them whenever I feel like it.

But, if there’s a Connor or a Trevor out there who can worm his way around all of these stipulations – someone who is as woke as I am – I’d definitely be open to dating him. He just needs to be fully aware of what he's getting himself into.