From loud, raucous parties in beer-soaked basements that always seem to smell of some type of bodily excretion to slightly awkward meet and greet events in the only dress shirt you brought to college, rushing a fraternity is very confusing and slightly intimidating. Here are some ways you can minimize embarrassment during this stressful time.
Don’t be something you aren’t
It sounds like corny advice straight out of an elementary school educational film on making friends, but this really does matter. Didn’t have too many friends in high school? No one cares- you’re not there anymore. Didn’t make the team? Nobody cares about that either. Once during lunch period did you choke on a hot dog when your crush said hi to you, accidentally vomit on her shoe and proceed nearly die of embarrassment because the kid next to you captured it on video, which led to you being called barf for the rest of senior year? That might be an exception- keep it secret. In all seriousness though, just talk about things you know, don’t try to fluff up, fabricate or brag about your achievements, have some fun and try to figure out what you’re looking for in an organization. Chances are if you’re generally friendly and don’t act like a dick you’ll be fine. Everyone likes someone genuine with a few interests over the kid bragging about how much he got laid in high school (he’s probably lying because he doesn’t have interesting things to say, and once again- no one cares.)
Don’t join a fraternity because you think it is “top tier”
Anyone who tells you to join a fraternity based on a subjective tier system is a douche. That said, it probably isn’t a good idea to join the pariah fraternity living 10 miles off-campus in a dwelling not dissimilar to a crack house because of the hazing suit they confronted last spring. There really aren’t any tiers for houses- some have high GPA’s, some excel in a certain niche interest, some have strong alumni networking connections, and some drink more and party harder than anyone on campus (not necessarily a good thing.) The point is- there is no static objective order you could sort organizations into. Some are definitely worse than others- but even the aforementioned pariah fraternity might have access to some of the best drugs in the entire town. Note that this does not mean you should join them, unless your chief aspiration is to become a professional methamphetamine dealer. Join an organization with things that appeal to you- even if that is just a place to blow off steam and drink yourself into a stupor during the weekend. If none of the houses click with you, walk away and find people who do. College is a big social melting pot- you can always find people who you can get along with, and frats aren’t the only organizations on campus. Staying in a place where you need to force yourself to fit in will just make you and the other people there miserable.
Don’t get too drunk
You will probably be pressured, at least indirectly, to drink with whatever fraternities you are rushing. Feel free to help yourself- but don’t be that guy. No one likes that guy. He talks about how he loves getting wasted, downs a couple shots, stumbles around for a few hours exuberantly repelling anyone he encounters, pisses off all the older brothers, and either passes out on a couch while people laugh at him and take pictures, or wakes up in a hospital. You don’t need to be four sheets to the wind to have a ton of fun- and if you feel yourself getting too drunk, say that you’re feeling sleepy, give some slurred goodbyes, and go pass out in your room. There will be plenty of other nights. If you are being directly pressured to drink beyond your limits- tell them you’re going to puke if you drink more, get back home and seriously consider why you’re hanging out with those people.
