Earlier this month, I found myself questioning a lot of what I was doing. Why was I working 6 days a week? Why did I declare a major that involved a lot of math when I knew I was terrible at it? Why was I hanging out with girls who constantly put me down? Tons of more questions, lots of unknown answers.

Being a young twenty-something comes with a lot of ups and downs, and a 'mid-life crisis' happens weekly. I doubt every move I make, and worry about the ones I don't. It's become almost a routine of mine to overthink just about everything in my life, whether it be relationships, school or my job. I know i'm not the only one who feels this way, but sometimes, I feel lost in the world. I feel like I'm not on the right path, or like I'm behind.

I know there really is no timeline to get things done, and everyone moves at a different pace, but what is my agenda in life? Where am I actually headed? I have friends who are nearly done with school, friends who are getting married, and even friends who have children! And what am I doing? Taking another semester off from school? Buying yet another festival ticket, when I still have unpaid bills? Still living under my moms roof?

Here's what has helped me stop thinking about what others are doing versus me. We are all wandering, and wondering where to go from here. Some find their answers a little sooner than others, and that is okay.

On nights like tonight, I sit back and realize i'm not really growing in my adult life so much as my peers. Instead, I'm kind of just living my youth, and partying through every minute of it. Some would say that I am foolish for doing so, that my future is important and I've got to grow up. But I've got a different outlook on life. I see things in a different light.

Instead of spending my time locked in the library at 3 am, I'm driving to the Grand Canyon to watch the sunrise. I'm not just dropping hundreds of dollars to listen to music in a big city, I'm making friendships and memories that will last a lifetime. I'm not settling down with a boy I feel comfortable wtih, I'm meeting 100 more who will teach and show me things I didn't know about myself.

I used to be worried about not being on track with what was deemed "normal" for people my age. I used to be worried that when I went to the family holiday parties, I'd be scolded for not finshing out the semester and instead buying a sewing machine to design my own swimsuits. I used to be scared of what people would think of me, but I'm not anymore. I'm not worried about my future like some are. Maybe I should be, but maybe, the present time is a little more important. Even if I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm headed.

If you feel like you're "off track," you aren't alone. You shouldn't feel that way, either. You should want to be off track. You should want to do and be your own person; the type of person who does anything and everything the way they want to, when they want to, not just when they think they have to or should.

We are all different. We were born in a different time and place, raised in different neighborhood by different types of parents. Sure we have the same interests or the same friend groups, but we do not have to do the same things or be on the same path as one another. You can make your own choices, and you should.

I'm interested in making sure that I am full of happiness, love, and creativity now while I'm young. I want to make sure that my soul is fed, so it doesn't starve and crave to be taken out later on. You may want the same thing out of life, but our road to get there will be much different.

I may not be on a path, but I am getting somewhere. I am growing up, just in a different sense. I will still worry about everything, but I am no longer going to let that hold me back from doing anything. I am still shining, even when I doubt myself, and no one can take that away from me.