Free agent quarterback and money flashing enthusiast Johnny Manziel has recently stated that he is no longer "lost in the sauce". These words came right from the mouth of one of the biggest villains to ever step on a college football field. Johnny's time at Texas A&M was a dream of anyone who loves beer, good times, and more beers. It was a privilege watching Johnny suit up in the helmet and shoulder pads every Saturday. What quarterback in the football world today is there to cheer on that gets soaked in booze and then hits the gridiron guns blazing? Nobody that's who. With job openings seemingly everywhere, a lot of people especially me are expecting Johnny to get another shot. The league needs a villain like you Johnny, and you need the league. You need the NFL to sweat out all the Busch Lights you guzzle down Monday through Saturday my man. Ever since Jim McMahon retired, the NFL has had a lack of degenerates. Don't take me the wrong way- seeing Rob Gronkowski shotgun beers left and right on a parade float in front of millions of New England Patriot fans and families is great, but Manziel is a true rebel. I need to know that there is a quarterback in the NFL that plays the game as quick and loose as a Donald Trump press conference. Next season, I need Johnny to make a comeback but not just any comeback, I'm talking MVP of the damn league comeback. I need a better "Johnny Football" than the one I watched on Saturdays when he suited up as an Aggie, super "Johnny Football" is what I am saying. He needs to be so super "Johnny Football" that when he flashes his money fingers, he whips out real dollar bills and then lights them on fire. I need this "Johnny Football" doing Trojan condom commercials, hanging with Tupacs ghost, and dressing like the boss villain of any last level in a video game. You want to know why I need all this? Because it's fun to watch and right now the National Football league isn't that fun. I need Johnny back. I need the fun. I need the stories that put a smile on my face and bring me back to a simpler time. I don't want to wake up on Sunday mornings anymore to a league without Johnny Manziel.
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1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.
If the kids get a pool pass, so do you. It's not exactly a leisurely swim when you have to keep an eye on the kids, but it's a good opportunity to work on your tan and get out of the house. Plus, a day at the pool tires out the kids.
2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.
You may just be the nanny, but that doesn't stop the other moms from wanting to include you in their gossip sessions or carpool rotations.
3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.
Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, character mac & cheese, you name it.
4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.
The only type of bag that can hold a plethora of snacks, sand toys, and extra clothes for the kids to change into after they swim.
5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.
You've been given the extra booster seat for running errands with the kids during the week. Next thing you know, it's Saturday night and your friends are laughing over the crammed backseat, car seat and all.
6. Their nap time is your happy time.
If you can somehow manage to get all the kids napping at the same time, major props to you. Now you can enjoy a few hours to yourself (or maybe even take a nap of your own!).
7. Lunch time can be a disaster.
When they can't agree on a meal or when you don't make it exactly like their mom does...
8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.
"Sure, we can play Monopoly again for the hundredth time in a row," said no sane person ever.9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.
When you ask them to clean their room and they ask "why?!" you can finally reply with "because I said so," just like your mom would say to you.
10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.
Forcing the kids to wear sunscreen while they play outside is such a motherly thing to do, and you love it.
11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.
And then you're reminded why you have the best summer job in the world and wouldn't trade it for anything.
1. "Wow, this class is really boring."
Well of course it is, or you wouldn't be daydreaming.
2. "If this wasn't a General Education Requirement, I would've dropped this class already."
Everyone in this room would have dropped the class already.
3. "That kid is sleeping, I wonder if the Professor would notice if I closed my eyes..."
Maybe just for three seconds...
4. "I'm really hungry."
What they are serving in the dining hall...I hope it's mac and cheese.
5. "Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"
OK just kidding, but seriously, can I leave now?
6. "Where are we on the notes?"
Once you are lost on the notes in a lecture class, there is no turning back. Might as well go back to daydreaming about how you are a failure.
7. "Is she/he still talking about this slide?"
Yeah, it's been 10 minutes on one slide of the presentation and yeah, she/he will continue for another three.
8. "What am I going to do this weekend?"
Well I could go to that movie night on campus, or go out to dinner with friends -- anything but doing the homework for this class.
9. "Why do I even need this class?"
Many classes have me asking this question...I need about 15 minutes to really find the answer to my great question.
10. "Is anyone even paying attention?"
Everyone looks like zombies shaking their heads to look like they are listening, and I know that kid next to me is drooling so he is definitely not paying attention. There goes my chance to catching up on the notes -- back to day dreaming.
As a Puerto Rican born in Ohio who has a very Puerto Rican family, I can tell you that there are also things that you shouldn’t say to us. Here are the most common no-no’s that have been said to Puerto Ricans.
1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”
Puerto Rico is not an independent country. It is one of a few United States territories that have their own local government but abide by U.S. law and U.S. leaders. Everyone on that island is a U.S. citizen so no, my family members are not immigrants.
2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”
Okay, Puerto Rico is a Caribbean island in, you guessed it, the Caribbean Sea along with a bunch of other islands. Each of those islands has a unique culture and history so why do you always assume all Latin nations/territories are near or associated with Mexico?
3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”
Even though Puerto Rico has its own slang, there is no such thing as a language called “Puerto Rican.” Puerto Ricans speak Spanish. Period.
4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”
This comment irritates me to no end. Puerto Ricans- and Latinos, for that matter- are extremely diverse. Our descendant range from the Spanish conquistadors to the indigenous groups who lived before colonization to the African slaves who were brought to the region. Not all of us fit the stereotypical mold of appearance.
5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”
Again, Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory not a country, therefore, you don’t need a passport to go there.
6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”
Since when was it a bad thing to show pride towards one’s heritage? Last time I checked, no one was making fun of patriotic folks who waves the stars and stripes of the U.S. flag.
7. “Why are you so loud?”
We are just loud people. If you don’t like it, don’t talk to us.
8. “So does your family know English?”
Puerto Ricans are taught Spanish and English. Both are the official languages. Technically, Spanish is the first language of many Puerto Ricans on the island, but they understand and speak English. In fact, there are schools on the island that teach in English.
9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”
This is an annoying stereotype that also plagues much of the Latino community. We can be sassy, but that’s just an individual personality trait that doesn’t apply to everyone.
10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”
Let’s see… did I grow up eating food from Mexico? No, because my family is Puerto Rican, not Mexican. Puerto Rico has its own cuisines. I grew up eating Puerto Rican food. Stop merging cultures.
11. “Are you Mexican?”
No. Stop. Not every Latino is Mexican. Mexicans are Mexicans, Puerto Ricans are Puerto Rican, and so on. Do not be that person.
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