Most of my family and friends are very aware of my opinion on children. They are definitely not my thing. However, I constantly get flooded with comments like, "Oh, you'll want them when you're older!" or "You need to wait until you're married anyway." No. My opinion is strong and it will not change. And that is okay.

I have a weak stomach when it comes to vomit and feces anyway, so burping babies and changing diapers would not be in my best interest. I've only held a baby one time and it wasn't anything special. Yes, I was even forced to smell the baby's skin, because apparently that's supposed to change my opinion instantly, right? Apparently babies smell nice? In my opinion, it just smelled like a lot of money that I could save.

According to CNN, the average amount spent on raising a child until they're 18 years old is $245,000. That's not including if you want to send them off to college afterwards. Do you know what I can buy with all of that saved money? A lot of things. Or I could even just invest it and become super rich. Either one sounds great to me.

I also love my sleep. I hear horror stories from coworkers and friends with children about how often they have to get up to tend to their fussing child. No thanks. I'll stick to getting my solid 7-10 hours of sleep per night.

Perhaps I'm biased since I was an only child and didn't have to experience raising a younger sibling. Materialistically, I'm actually very selfish. Don't touch my things without my permission. And you expect me to push out a tiny human-bulldozer who's going to destroy all my things? You're a comedian.

And about the whole birth thing: that freaks me out. Especially seeing videos of the baby moving around in the womb? Nope. I have goosebumps just thinking about it. Then I have to push it out and there's a possibility of tearing and not being able to control my bladder? I think I'll just stick to being held together and being able to pee when I want to.

In conclusion, I would be forever grateful if people who stop telling me, "You're going to be one of those people with five kids." To those of you who have supported my decision, thank you for not being annoying.