Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest

Would the ladies under 5'4 please stand up. (No really, please stand, I can't see you, I am also under 5'4.)

217
Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest
Jessica Prowell

In This Article:

I just wanna start out by saying it's not fair. I always have to stand in front in group photos, I can never see behind anyone during movies/plays/concerts even when they're SITTING. Fun fact: I have been measured at the doctor's office 3 times, each time it's been shorter. I started out at 5'4 and made my way down to 5'2 1/2. My dad was like 6'2, my brother is also 6'2, and my mom is 5'7. I didn't think I was supposed to shrink until I became, like, an adultier adult so SOMEONE IS LYING HERE. PLEASE LET ME BE TALL/5'4/NORMAL SIZED.

PSA: if you're over 5'10, DON'T SIT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE UNDER 5'4 IF YOU CAN HELP IT. SWITCH WITH SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY AND VIEW. I JUST WANNA WATCH MAMMA MIA 2 FOR THE 5TH TIME IN THEATERS IN PEACE.

I know it's also not your fault that you're tall. I get it; I really do, but you have a lot more advantages here than we do. Do us a solid and listen up.

1. If we ask for help reaching something, please don't laugh

Giphy

When I was little, and by little I mean I still do this, I literally have to hoist myself onto the kitchen counter, sometimes stand up on it, just to reach the top shelf. I can never ever reach the top shelves of Walmart, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY STARTED ADDING THINGS TO THE TIPPY TOP ONLY TALL PEOPLE AND LADDERS CAN REACH. DISCRIMINATION.

2. Wearing heels isn't always the answer

Giphy

I trip over my own feet no matter what's on my feet, even if I'm barefoot. Telling me to wear heels is asking me to fall in my face anytime there's the smallest amount of texture on the ground or if I use stairs. They hurt my feet anyway and only make me a relatively normal height. 10/10 do not recommend.

3. Hugging us is not as awkward for us as it is for you

Giphy

Being hugged as a short person by anyone taller (not a huge standard) is the best thing ever TBH. I don't know if it's only me who loves it, but your entire body is just enveloped by another person showing you affection. IT'S SO SWEET AND I LOVE IT. 1000/10 definitely recommend. Go hug a shorty, we always need hugs.

4. We're easy to lose, be careful

Giphy

See, being easy to lose in a crowd/store/anywhere is a win/lose. Sometimes it's a win for us because #socialanxiety so we don't have to deal with people but it's also a lose for us because #socialanxiety (I'm struggling). I get kinda freaked out when I lose my friends in a crowd because I can't see above anyone to look for them. Lots of random marco/polo games happen in Target.

5. We know we're short, we don't need a reminder

Giphy

"Haha, you're so small, it's adorable!"

IT'S REALLY NOT. I mean, it definitely is, but IT'S REALLY NOT FOR THE 10000000TH TIME IN MY LIFE. I lowkey love being short but also highkey hate it BECAUSE I get called adorable.

"You can't be scary, you're too cute!"

AM I?????? GEE, I DIDN'T KNOW. THANKS.

TL;DR -

Yes, I have short legs.

No, you cannot use my head/shoulders as an armrest unless I love you.

Yes, I need you to lift me so I can see what's happening.

No, I will not tie your shoes because I'm closer to the ground.

Yes, coffee most definitely stunted my growth.

Short people have feelings too.

Respect us.

We're closer to the ground so we're closer to Satan.

( Twas only a jest)



media2.giphy.com

*Me, skipping away from kicking you in the shins when you make fun of my shortness*

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
I'm serious

There are tons of unisex names that are popular: Taylor, Alex, Bailey, etc. There are also numerous names that are used for both sexes, but they’re not seen as “unisex” yet. People are slowly becoming accustomed to the dual use of these names, but for the most part, in their minds they associate certain names with certain sexes. And that leaves those of us with these names in many awkward situations.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

16 Secrets Anthropology Majors Never Admit To

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

5723
cave
CSU

I'm an anthropology major, and I love every minute of it. I couldn't tell you why, but I guess there's just something about studying different lifestyles that absolutely fascinates me. But anthropology majors definitely have our weird sides, especially when you go to a school that is filled with mostly Business and Bio majors. But us weirdos definitely have a lot in common, specifically these 16 things.

Keep Reading...Show less
pale girl

Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

Keep Reading...Show less
music sheet

Being a music major is not all kicks and giggles. In fact, there are days when I question my sanity and doubt myself as a musician. I know I am not the only one going through the struggle, and so here are 13 GIFs that I know my fellow music majors can relate to...

Keep Reading...Show less
Bob's Burgers
Flickr

1. The witty burger names.

Blue is the warmest cheese burger

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments