I'm all about holding your friends accountable for their wrongdoings, and for telling them when they've done something to hurt you. That's what you should do if someone hurts you — hold them accountable for that.

But, when you "hold someone accountable" for doing something that they really can't help, that's simply not OK.

Don't shame your depressed friend for needing to stay in most of the time. They can't help that they're not feeling up to doing something that day.

Don't shame your anxious friend for how they cope with their problems. Some of them need to talk about it, some of them can't talk about it, some of them can't stop thinking about it. Don't make them feel bad because they're doing their best to cope with the problem.

If they come to you because they're struggling, don't make them feel bad because that's all they talk about.

Depression and anxiety, in most cases, are simply chemical imbalances. Some people don't have enough serotonin or norepinephrine.

SEE ALSO: 8 Things You Should Never Say To Your Depressed Or Anxious Friend

There is no amount of "positive thinking" that can change that.

Cutting people out of your life because of the symptoms of their mental illness is unfair to them. They will start to feel like they're incapable of having friends because they're incapable of eradicating their mental illness. They won't know how to operate in a friendship because they don't want to lose more friends to their mental illness.

Hold them accountable if their mental illness hurts you, but if they're sorry that they lashed out at you on a bad day or sorry that they keep talking about something that you don't want to talk about, that should be enough.

Have compassion for your friends, even if they're anxious, depressed, bipolar, obsessively compulsive, or suicidal. In most cases, they can't help it.