This past Friday, I was informed of the death of a family friend. He was 19.

He died in a car accident, smashed into a wall and burned beyond recognition. No other vehicles involved, and absolutely no answers. What are you even supposed to do when you hear this news? I am shocked; shock is the only word that can describe how I feel.

I was never excited to drive. For me, the desire was simply not there. It was no surprise when I turned down every chance to drive with my permit and later failed my first driver’s test a week after my 16th birthday. It was the opposite with my older brother. As soon as the permit was in his hands, he was driving. I swear that during the period of time my brother had his permit, my mom did not drive. He took the test on his birthday, passed, and has been in love ever since. When he isn’t doing his coursework, he is working as a valet car parker or attending car shows, car clubs, and car meets. All of his spare cash is spent on car accessories.

I don’t share the same passion for cars. When I see cars, I don’t see the makes and models. I see a machine that has the power to take me places, and also the power to take my loved ones. I see the family at the funeral I attended three years ago crying because they lost their son at age 16, the destroyed car that killed a boy I went to school with, and the bracelet my friend wears remembering a girl who died while driving to school on a winter morning. It is a vessel of fear, and things I cannot control.

I’m sick of hearing about the various girls who get out of speeding tickets by crying. I’m tired of hearing high school boys bragging about how they can still drive while intoxicated. “I’m good at texting and driving” doesn’t mean a thing. (And frankly, is ridiculous and not some bold talent to be proud of). You are not invincible. I cannot even count the number of people around my age in my community who have died in car crashes within the past four years.

The good news is that you have the power to make a change. You can choose to be a responsible driver. Drive the speed limit or slower, wear your seatbelt, do not text and drive, limit distractions, and drive sober.

Stay safe on the roads, people love and care about you.