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A Comprehensive List Of Things I Don't Understand

I just don't get it.

Candace M. Gabel

Oct 13, 2015

Northeastern University

1522

A Comprehensive List Of Things I Don't Understand

1. People who pronounce espresso as "expresso."

2. Math.

3. Slut shaming.

4. Republicans.

5. People who pronounce Reese's as "Ree - See's".

6. Minions.

7. Minion memes.

8. Slow walkers.

9. Blackboard.

10. Vanity license plates.

11. Meninists.

12. Men's 3-In-One soaps.

13. Lack of all-day breakfast options.

14. Lack of Whataburger in the Northeast.

15. Beta fish,

16. Having an opinion on toilet paper being under or over.

17. Leg hair.

18. Forever 21's return policy.

19. Open toe boots.

20. Light switches on the outside of bathrooms.

21. The price of Yankee Candles.

22. Benedict Cumberbatch.

23. The Apple Watch.

24. Half-Caf Coffee.

25. Beats By Dre.

26. Donald Trump.

27. Not using turn signals.

28. Why people in Prius' drive so slow.

29. KIK.

30. Contouring.

31. Chipotle as Mexican food.

*I would like to clarify that I love Chipotle, but it's barely Mexican food OK?!

32. Not having a caffeine dependence.

33. Unpaid internships.

34. Bitcoins.

35. People who buy "Now" CDs.

36. The "Poke" feature on Facebook.

37. Irregardless.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Comprehensive List Of Things I Don't Understand

I just don't get it.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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