Every Veteran's Day, we go out of our way to thank our brave veterans for their service to our country. They dedicated years of their lives to the protection of our citizens and betterment of the planet. So when November 11th rolls around, we spread thanks and give generously to show our appreciation. Discounts, free meals, free doughnuts and coffee, free oil changes…the list goes on.

However, veterans often voice uncertainty of how to respond to this gratitude. Why? Serving is drastically different than civilians realize.

Karl Marlantes, a Marine veteran of the Vietnam War explains in his book "Matterhorn" that warriors do dreadful things in combat. Therefore, responding with "you're welcome" can make veterans feel uncomfortable and guilty. Combat transforms people into monsters. Their hearts become so full of rage and hatred while fighting in the war.

I've heard veterans say, "If you knew what kind of monster I became in the war, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me, let alone thanking me."

Perhaps we should find different words for our veterans.

"You are incredibly brave for fighting for this country."

"You have the courage of a hero."

"You've made the world a better place because of your sacrifices."

Sure, "thank you" is easy and feels good but it could make a vet feel guilty. It's like saying "thank you for murdering."

Even if the enemy was a horrible person. Even if the vet never saw combat. Saying "thank you" could bring back feelings or horror, nightmares, or even episodes of PTSD.

Instead, ask about their job in the military. Ask what they're doing now. Are they going to school? Where do they work? Do they have a family? Show your appreciation by voting, volunteering in the community, making a difference, and supporting members of the military who are still active.

Please be wary of our veterans. Show your appreciation every day. Be cautious about their mental health. Maybe "thank you" isn't the best choice of words.