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You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

Emotions don't have rules, so stop telling people how they can and cannot feel.

Rachel G

Dec 12, 2018

East Carolina University

You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

https://unsplash.com/photos/tXz6g8JYYoI

This seems so self-explanatory, but clearly, it isn't. I've seen a lot of posts lately about how Millennials and Gen-Y are too sensitive and how we can't take a joke. Well, guess what? YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE HOW I REACT.

If I see something on Facebook that's sexist, even if it's a joke, I am allowed to be offended. I am allowed to defend my gender and defend myself. I am allowed to be angered at the constant oppression of women that is often masked by jokes and backhanded compliments and side comments. You do not get to tell me "oh, it's just a joke, relax." I will not relax. It is my responsibility to stand up for myself and other women. The intention of the comment is irrelevant, it's about what the message of it is and I am allowed to feel however I feel.

You also don't get to tell me how your actions affect me. If you are my friend and you take seven hours to respond to a text message that warrants a response, but I see that you've been posting on social media, I am allowed to be mad. I am allowed to be irritated. The same is true if you blow me off, even if it's for legitimate reasons. I am allowed to be upset. It may not be directed at you, but I am still allowed to be upset that you canceled on me.

Also, if you're my significant other and you say or do something that hurts my feelings or disappoints me, I am allowed to feel that way. If I go out of my way when you have had a bad day to make you feel better, but you ignore that- I am allowed to be upset.

I am allowed to be disappointed and to need some space. You don't get to tell me that I'm overreacting or that I'm being crazy just having emotions.

I am also allowed to feel emotions that aren't necessarily traditional in certain scenarios. I am allowed to be relieved when someone who's had cancer and been in pain for years on end, passes away. I am allowed to be happy that they are no longer suffering. I am also allowed to feel grief that they are gone. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

So, stop telling me and others to feel a certain way. I am allowed to have emotion. It is NORMAL to have emotions. It is NORMAL to feel things. I am allowed to feel whatever I feel.

Emotions do not have boundaries. Emotions don't have rules. So, stop trying to give people emotional rules to follow.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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You Don't Get To Decide How People React To What You Do

Emotions don't have rules, so stop telling people how they can and cannot feel.

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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