You could be missing out on bigger and better.
Today, more than ever, there seems to be an increasing number of young people settling down with their high school sweethearts and getting engaged or married as soon as they are starting their college years. Some have their whole college career and future set in stone by the time they hit junior year. This is all well and good for some, but at times, I get the feeling that there's a pressure to lock down what's yours and start being a grown up way too quickly. It worries me-
When I was a junior in high school, I didn't have a plan, but I was with a guy I thought I'd be with forever. I felt secure in that relationship and knew that no matter where I went and what I chose to do, I would be one half of that whole, with someone to count on all the way through. I was wrong. Circumstances changed, and we parted ways, as a lot of high school couples do.
Along with all the common side effects of a high school break-up, I had a sudden sense of identity loss. I had no idea who I was alone after dating someone for so long (long to me meaning a little over a year and a half). I realized I had gotten too comfortable being someone else's instead of my own. It took a while to set new goals and gain motivation to grow independently, but it was one hundred percent, certainly, the best thing to do. I remain confident in saying that.
Fast forward from that time to now. I am studying in a completely different country, and my experience as a whole has been life changing. I'm traveling to other countries, seeing castles, the Colosseum, little Welsh towns- I'm continuously making new friends, trying new things, growing, and changing my mind day by day. The comforting thing about this is knowing I have time to find myself. No one is relying on me to stay as one kind of person in one place doing one thing every day. I'm not tied down, and my freedom is exhilarating. It is an amazing thing to be standing on a cliff over the sea while maintaining the knowledge that, if I wanted, I could be across the world tomorrow. I only need to be true to myself.
If I had been under the responsibility to stay with a potential husband or set future, I know for a fact I would have stayed home. I would have kept playing the same sports, joining the same clubs, and working at the same job all throughout college. I would not have felt comfortable leaving my life behind to start a new adventure. This possible alternate reality scares me to death.
My perception of life has been altered. Although I have the same core beliefs and qualities as I did in high school, I've opened my mind and changed as a person. My friends have changed, my priorities have shifted, and the future I want for myself has changed. I can't imagine how much pain and stress I could have been feeling being trapped in a cycle and stuck in my own comfort zone. It would have been nearly impossible for me to break free.
My point is, some people and couples are meant to settle down early, I suppose, and stick with the plan they've had since day one. However, there is no rush. If you are with the right person, a few more years won't be anything but good for your relationship. It gives you time to grow together and ensure that the combination is healthy and mutually beneficial. You could have the time to go through problems together and learn to work as a team. If you decide you want to change your major from biology to English, you should go with it- and do what you want, no matter the extra time in school or hassle. The bottom line is that people, especially during their late teens and twenties, are constantly changing, learning, and seeking. College is a time to embrace these changes and to be free to explore every aspect of life. Do not settle. Do not settle on guys or girls that could stunt your personal growth. Do not settle on a job that you don't care for. Do not settle on waking up in the same place every single day of your life.
Do not settle down and commit to a plan too early. Let yourself be free to grow.
