I have always loved the idea of love and simply being in love. I love the idea of living happily ever after and having someone love me for me. With being a hopeless romantic when I was younger (I still kind of am now but with just higher standards) I never knew how exactly I should have been treated because I never felt worthy or I never felt like I deserved much so, whenever a relationship presented itself to me; I settled and I shouldn't have.

Now, I am not saying that those relationships were not great. One of those relationships lasted for about a year but within that relationship I wanted to think that I was happy but the truth was; I wasn't. I was happy with the idea of being in a relationship. I was happy with the idea of someone loving me for me. I was happy with the idea of my parents liking him. What I was not happy about was how I was being treated and how controlling he was in the relationship. Of course we broke up and I was upset like any girl would be so you would think that I realized how I deserved to be treated and what I really wanted out of a relationship; well you are wrong.

My next two relationships after that were ultimately the same. Things go well for a few months; last for about a year (one of them lasted for two years), we fought, I cried, we called each other bad names, but in the end we would try and work things out. After my last relationship ended I sat in my bed and cried for months because I thought that something was wrong with me. I thought that all of my failed relationships were my fault until one day I realized that none of it was my fault. I realized that I was always the one apologizing and always the one that would try to fix the relationship and make things work, I was the one who did not have a backbone and let the guy push me around and yet again; control the entire relationship. Both guys controlled who I was suppose to hang out with, who I was allowed to talk to, and even got upset when my male co worker asked me if I wanted to go on break together for our next shift. After a very long heart to heart conversations with my best friend she helped me realize my worth and how those boys were not worth my tears at all. That was when I figured out that instead of putting my foot down and realizing how worthy I was of a great relationship; I was just settling for less.

I honestly have not been in a relationship since my last relationship ended and it's been a long time. It's not that I am scared to be in a relationship again (okay I might be terrified a little bit) but I realized that I don't want to waste my time in a relationship if I know that they are not willing to commit. I'd be a liar if I said that I did not go on dates or have hardcore crushes on anyone because I did. I still went out on dates when guys asked me and I still developed that puppy crush on guys that I thought maybe they had potential, but that also allows me to see how they treat me if they were willing to commit. The last four years has allowed me to set my standards high. Going on dates and "talk" to guys allowed me to not settle for less. I've settled for less than what I truly deserved and even though I was happy for the time being, I was not TRULY happy with myself and how I was being treated.

So ladies, set your standards high and don't apologize for that. Don't settle for less than what you truly deserve. You are a queen and you are beautiful. You are worthy of so much more than you let yourself think that you deserve.