Please, don't turn Joy away from your door to live in the cold. Invite her in, no matter in what state she presents herself.

Joy appears very different to everyone, but one thing that is sure about her is that she's not going to stick around if your time is wasted on wishing for what isn't yours or things you wish you could be. Joy drives you to see others for their talents and their beauty and to admire those aspects of them, not to mourn the fact that these traits are not your own. Unfortunately, for those who struggle with this more than others, it's hard when media puts the fabulous lives of others on the front page of our morning paper.

Media is important and serves a wide variety of good purposes, though it's also the most addictive numbing agent to those who have a difficult time letting Joy into their homes. Posting a photo of yourself that you particularly like and watching the notifications pile up like fan mail is sometimes a needed emotional boost. But when a picture doesn't collect as many letters as you'd thought or when others get more than you, it hurts, and you begin to wonder what makes you inferior. To get rid of this feeling you start mimicking those around you; taking artsy pictures of everything and posting often to build up an online reputation, but this is where the addiction takes over.

Steven Furtick knows "the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes to everybody else's highlight reel". For myself, I know that not only is my caption revised several times, but my photo is thoroughly examined before sending it out as well. Each person today assumes that they are the only one who analyzes and edits their lives online, but the truth is that everyone does it, no matter the extent. This is important to keep in mind when your newsfeed is filled with aesthetically seasonal photos and you are feeling frumpish like we all do at times.

I want Joy to be a best friend, whether we bond immediately or whether my envy pushes her away and I need to re-welcome her. The media is a part of our world today; there's no way to participate without any feelings of jealousy or insignificance. All you need is to find your balance where you truly are happy for others and where you are also happy for yourself.