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5 Things You Just Don't Say To A Child Of Divorced Parents

Why in your right mind would that be okay? Are you crazy?

Madisyn Stauffer

Oct 31, 2018

Southern Illinois University Edwardsville National Writers Society

1025

5 Things You Just Don't Say To A Child Of Divorced Parents

Madisyn Stauffer

Having divorced parents are any age is tough, and sorry to tell you, but it never gets easier. There are so many reasons why parents split and so many different outcomes. Not only does it affect the two getting a divorce, but it affects the kids so much more than one could imagine. I come from a divorced family and things aren't a cake walk. You take sides, you listen to your parent's different sides and ultimately, never understanding why it happened. You could think of all the reasons, maybe your fault, maybe how you acted, maybe how this could've stemmed even before you knew things were about to go down.

No matter the case, there are some things you should never say to a child of divorced parents. Ever.

"Are you okay?"

The question of all questions. Do I look okay to you? Is something suppose to look wrong? I'm fine, besides I have a whole new family life, but thanks for asking.

"How are your siblings taking all of this?"

Well, this could go both ways, considering if your siblings are younger or older. But if your siblings are younger, it's always tougher. They have no idea what is wrong and why mom and dad don't like in the same house. But everyone takes it differently and that's just the part that stinks.

"At least you'll have two holidays to go to!"

Y'all act like this a good thing. You're totally...wrong. I dread having to chose which house to go over first or how much time I have to spend there, how much to eat at one house so I'm not full for the next, who I'm going to see at these places, the things you have to witness, etc. It just doesn't sound like the best ride at Disneyland.

"How's your mom/dad doing?"

They are doing fine, just separated obviously. They were unhappily married, saw things differently, (so many other reasons) so now I have to deal with the aftermath. Or you answer the question as my mom/dad is blah blah, blah, or "I don't know how my mom/dad is doing, I don't talk to them. Which stems from the question of, "why?" A unwanted cycle of questions.

"Who do you live with?"

One, that's none of your business. But you can't get out of the question being asked. "I live with my dad because things are complicated, I live with my mom because of certain things that happened." It's never easy, just like a divorce isn't.

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Recommended for you

5 Things You Just Don't Say To A Child Of Divorced Parents

Why in your right mind would that be okay? Are you crazy?

"Are you okay?"

"How are your siblings taking all of this?"

"At least you'll have two holidays to go to!"

"How's your mom/dad doing?"

"Who do you live with?"

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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