When February comes around, I always get really sad, though not for the reason you'd assume. It's like there's this rule that if you're single come Valentine's Day, you have to be sad and bitter and post things like:

"I'm gonna be alone forever...."

I don't blame people for getting a little depressed when society separates us into the happily taken and the desperately lonely. Like most other emotionally charged topics, general society assumes things must be black and white....there is no in-between.

I have to disagree. Profoundly. And loudly. Just I like I do when I disagree with anything!

Valentine's Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. In general, I love celebrating holidays. Who doesn't love a day where you get to dress up and eat way too many decorated sugar cookies? Well, it's my favorite thing. Holidays are awesome. And as a self-proclaimed hippie and flower-child, I especially love a day that celebrates love.

Love is so beautifully diverse that to limit the celebration of love to "romantic love" is a complete injustice to the concept of love as a whole.

For the past several years, my sister has been my Valentine on February 14th. She's my best friend and spending time with her is like feeling safe and home wherever we go. Just like a healthy relationship should feel. We've done Valentine's brunch, movie nights, baking, eating what we baked, bought each other flowers and chocolates, left cute surprises for each other, etc. And every year, we genuinely look forward to a day to celebrate love. Because I love my sister. Sure it's not like having a romantic relationship, but it's wonderful to have someone in your life that knows you better than anyone else and cares about you unconditionally.

We've also gathered out friends together for a group Valentine's Day. Honestly, when I had all my girls over for Valentine's in 2015, it was probably the best Valentine's Day I've ever had. My sister was there, and four of my best friends in the entire world was there. We watched movies, made valentines for each other, ate cake, laughed constantly, hey they introduced me to "Clueless" for the first time. So yes. Quite the memorable occasion. And there was nary a romantic significant-other in sight.

Not that I have anything against people who are in romantic relationships. It's a wonderful thing if you can find that kind of love! It does have quite the reputation for being a touchy subject, though. We rely so heavily on our relationship status that fear of losing it often ends with just that: losing that special someone.

We are so scared to be alone. That just breaks my heart. It's almost as if we become less valuable as a human being when we're not part of an "us."

There are plenty of moments when I feel horribly lonely, but I'm not "alone" just because I'm not "dating" anyone currently. I've been on plenty of dates. I've had a few pretty serious relationships and a couple of close calls, but I've noticed that trying to force something that just isn't there is so much more trouble than it's worth.

I made the mistake right after graduating high school of thinking I needed to find the same love I had found in my high school boyfriend. I thought I couldn't be happy, or even content, unless I had that same romantic attachment to someone--anyone. But I quickly realized that it wasn't actually the relationship that I was missing. It was the feeling of having a special someone, of knowing that I had been picked. I was so torn up about who I was or who I would be, should he change his mind and decide to "unpick" me. Once I could see through that illusion of identity, I could focus on the parts that were so wonderful about falling in love. But I was afraid that if I brought those memories up, I would be judged an scolded for "not getting over him." I felt like I was constantly looking for permission to visit my own memories.

Even if a romantic relationship has ended, why can't we reach the point where we can look back on those relationships and appreciate the good parts? When the hurt feelings and the heartbreak have subsided, why is it taboo to look back on those moments that made you so happy?

Well, it shouldn't be.

Several months ago, I reached out to my ex and I asked him if he would be comfortable with me sharing some of those memories publicly. Because, frankly, the only people who have a say in whether those things get shared are the two people who were involved.

Benjamin was an amazing boyfriend. I don't want to feel like I can't remember the memories he gave me just because it didn't work out between us. It's been a long time since we broke up, but some of those memories still bring a huge smile to my face and a surge of warmth to my heart.

Ben first asked me out at a show choir competition in early February in 2013. I was in the all-girls group and he was in the mixed ensemble, so he sat in the audience while my group performed. When we were doing our choreographed bows, he held up the huge sign that said

"Megan, Will you go out with me?"

I remember people screaming my name over the music trying to get my attention, but I just kept thinking, "wow they must think I'm dancing really well!" And a moment later I realized "Wait... I'm a horrible dancer. It must be something else..."

Eventually, I did see the sign, and though I forgot to give him an answer until much later that day, I did say yes and we were together for about a year and a half.

I remember the Valentine's Day right after he asked me out, I had been really nervous about wanting to hold his hand in the hallways (because I was that much of a noob that I waited to hold my boyfriend's hand almost an entire week into the relationship). And he started asking me about the Beatles (a favorite topic of mine) and he sneakily made his way to the song "I wanna hold your hand" and then...he did. Goodness gracious, I was such an obnoxiously innocent teenager, but I was completely smitten and it's hilarious to look back on.

Ben was really good with the romantic gestures. I was really good at being oblivious to them, but I'm told by him and others that my surprised reactions were adorable, so there's that.

My favorite, though, will always be how he asked me to our junior prom.

I mentioned months previously to a girl friend of mine that I absolutely adore the song "Just the Way you Are" by Bruno Mars. Despite how cliche it was quickly becoming from it's endless loop on the radio, I loved it. I would play it all the time when I needed to feel like I was amazing....ya know? Just the way I am?

(I'm so sorry for that please don't hate me)

Anyway, I mentioned to said friend that honestly if there was ever a guy who actually wanted to ask me out, he should sing that song to me and I would be his in a heartbeat. Literally I think I actually used those words. Oh high school Megan...you embarrass me so. Ya goof. This friend of mine apparently told Ben that I had made this oh so embarrassing statement, and he ran with it.

Mind you, this kid is seriously talented. King of the Madrigal Court his senior year, all-state singer and general "hotty" in our high school. Ben recorded himself singing an A cappella version of my favorite song to surprise me and concluded the video with asking me to go to prom with him (in the dorkiest, most "Ben" way possible). It was completely sweet and wonderful and genuinely GOOD.

So yeah, I have those memories and they're mine. I loved that kid and falling for him was unexpected and kinda terrifying and then when things ended, I was totally heartbroken. But no, I'm not going to avoid sharing the stories, because they're great! We may both no longer have those feelings for each other, but they were there at one time and it was nice...so why can't we look back on that and smile? I mean, I was a little kid once, and I had a great time being a little kid. Now I'm an adult and life is a scary roller coaster of emotions and crises and finical turmoil and new relationships (platonic and romantic). But I still remember when I was a little kid and I smile. Sometimes I straight up cackle at remembering stupid things I did as a kid. (I'm not going to lie, I was hilarious and so freakin' dramatic)

In short,

I LOVE LOVE.

If I get the opportunity to celebrate love in any of it's beautiful and unique forms, I'm so completely for it. I love my sister, my dogs, my friends, my brother, my mom and dad, my grandparents, my favorite actors, THE BEATLES, reading books, taking naps--I could go on. The point is that a day celebrating love could be anything you want it to be.

I may be a little late for this year's Valentines but I hope you'll see that Valentine's Day is not just for couples. It's for whoever and whatever you LOVE. It's for remembering your experiences with love and for imagining your future experiences with love. So, please don't be sad if you're ever single on Valentine's Day. Life is so full of love for you. You just have to expand your search. Love isn't going to hide in only one place.

To end on the cheesiest note possible,

"ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE."