Like many girls, I grew up in love with Disney princess movies. As the oldest child, I often got to choose the movie we watched which meant my two little brothers were forced to sit through countless viewings of Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Snow White. In particular, 6-year-old me was entranced by the character of Cinderella. Perhaps it was because of her incredible beauty, singing voice, or that talking animals helped her get dressed every morning. However, more likely it was because she was the one who landed Prince Charming. In spite of all odds being against her, she held on to hope that one day she would meet her prince and all her dreams would come true.

We all know how the story goes. With the help of her fairy godmother, she gets a beautiful gown, and the chance to meet the prince. They, of course, fall hopelessly in love after only one dance, and Cinderella gets everything she always wanted.

Now I am 20 years old and though I still love the story, I realize that real life doesn’t work that way. I still throw pennies in fountains and make a wish before blowing out my birthday candles as I have always done. But I no longer expect these wishes to come true. This is not because of cynicism, but rather that I have grown up. I know that my deepest desires won’t fall into my lap simply because I wished and hoped for them, and as far as I know I have no fairy godmother.

Though I still wish for much in life, age has taught me that no one is going to make my dreams come true for me. Hard work and perseverance and not magic pumpkins will lead me to what I want. Most importantly, I no longer believe I need a prince charming to complete my life and make me whole.

When I was little I thought that some day, just like Cinderella, I would meet a man that would sweep me off my feet, magically transform my life, and that would be it. If I could talk to my younger self, I’d tell her not to hold her breath.

I’m not a damsel in distress, and though I love the princess movies I don’t want to live in one. I don’t need rescuing and I definitely don’t need a man to solve all my problems for me. One day I will hopefully achieve the life I’ve always dreamed of, but I know it will be because of my hard work and the support of family and friends, not simply because I fell in love.

One day my own future daughter will probably want to watch Cinderella. Maybe she’ll fall in love with the story just like I once did, want to put on princess costumes, and watch the movies over and over until she knows every song by heart.

I’ll buy her the costumes and I’ll even watch the movies with her. But I’ll also remind her that they are just movies and not real life. I will want her to grow up believing in miracles but also in herself. I will let her know that though she looks beautiful in the princess dresses, confidence and independence are the accessories that truly make her stunning.

Most importantly, I will tell her that she is the key to her own happy ending, not a fairy godmother, and certainly not a prince.