With college coming to an end soon and seeing everyone around me get their #RingBySpring, it's made me take a step back and evaluate what I would even want in a relationship. While talking with my friends, I hear a lot of, "I want a guy that will put me first."
Sure, that sounds great in theory.
A guy that would drop anything to be by your side. A guy that would be there for you through every bad day and stressful night of studying. A guy that would do anything for you.
A boyfriend like that sounds more like a pet dog than a boyfriend, and I don't need that right now.
I don't want to be someone's whole world.
Why not? Because I want him to have his own thing going. Whether that's him being completely in love with his job or painting or hanging out with his guys, that's all great. Just have something outside of me.
I don't need you to pick up the phone every time I call. I don't need you rushing to my side every time I have a sniffle. I am a grown woman who is perfectly capable of handling herself when she's sick.
I'm not looking for a guy who has his whole life together because let's be honest, who really has it all together?
Don't worry. I'll wait. Exactly. I have no idea where I'm going in life right now and I don't know that I'll ever have it all together, so I surely don't expect someone else to.
You don't have to have it all together, but at least have it together enough to have a hobby or something you like other than me. I don't need to be your life, and I don't need to change your whole life. I'm happy with being an addition who makes your life a little better, a little sweeter, and a little more fun.
That goes both ways. I have too many things going on to hang out with you every night of the week. I don't need to fall asleep with you on FaceTime every night like high schoolers. I don't have time to have someone clinging to me every minute.
I don't have to have you in my life to keep breathing.
If I'm going to have a guy in my life, it's going to be because I genuinely enjoy being around him when we get the chance to be together. It's going to be because he respects that I have my own stuff going on. He will respect that sometimes I don't even have time for myself, much less someone else.
The bottom line is you don't have to be someone's whole life in order to be an important part of their life. There are times when taking a backseat is preferable. In a true relationship, I don't always have to be riding shotgun to know where I stand.
