In a world full of heavy boxes, pickle jars that need opening, and doors that my tiny woman arms just can't open...what is a Proverbs 31 kinda girl to do? Should I simply resign to spend the rest of my days chained to the kitchen making sandwiches? Or perhaps I should take up knitting and be content to wilt away in the blistering heat of the patriarchy. In all seriousness, I've seen a lot of posts lamenting the death of chivalry...a death which I will not quickly mourn.
Chivalry, originally, was a Medieval knightly code that outlined the operation of battle ethics and morals. Part of this code was the respect and preservation of all things feminine. This brings about quite the odd dynamic as knights were expected to uphold strict chaste interactions with women, but ignored the plethora of injustices done to them every day. Nowadays, chivalry has been condensed to men paying for dates, pushing chairs in, and opening doors. Sounds all fine and dandy...until one realizes the serious implications and detrimental qualities it lends to the feminist movement.
Here comes the natural disclaimer: I am A-Okay with the boo thang paying for a date. I am not ok with, however, him paying for my dinner because I'm a woman. The issue with chivalry is that it has created a whole generation of women looking for men to treat them differently because of their vajayjay. This is the literal contradiction to all things feminist. The feminist movement demands equality, not special privilege.
See, chivalry sounds great. Until one realizes the inception of the very idea was birthed from misogynistic views and the inability to treat women has equal human beings. I'm not saying that it's wrong to have a list of qualities and characteristics that are non-negotiable (I don't want to date a serial killer...) but for the female to just assume that men are going to fulfill an antiquated view on service, is ridiculous.
I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. The amazing, beautiful, and scary thing about relationships is that, sometimes, I get to choose to let someone help. The best part, however, is that is that I get to pull equal weight. This is what a relationship is. GIve and take. The Christian community as utterly failed at informing little girls who grew into women, that men should serve them simply because they are women. Service should be done because you genuinely care about someone as a person, not because history has told us that they can't do it for themselves.
Whether you realize it or not, chivalry is the direct opposition of the feminist movement. Feminism stands to make the world a more equitable place for male and female alike. Expecting that women need to adhere to a traditional role of being "taken care of," creates tension and unreasonable expectations within genders. I am a feminist (surprise mom). I am also a girlfriend, and an educator, and a functional human with dreams and opinions. I don't need a knight in shining armor...I need someone who tells me to dream bigger and eat the last slice of pizza.
Sure, I've had plenty of doors opened for me. I've opened a quite a few myself. I don't claim to hate someone's generosity or servitude, but I do hate feeling like the unequal half in the world. Pay for my dinner because you think my ideals are cooler than my chest, open the door because my hands are full and you're not an ass. The world needs people who love on each other simply because the exist, not because the Bible outlines antiquated views of relationships that were intended to evolve. So rest in peace chivalry...you were cool once upon time, but I think we can all agree, it was your time to go.
