Many of us are stuck with the dilemma of appearing too nice. Then, when that happens, people get the great idea of mistaking our kindness for vulnerability. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walked all over for appearing too passive and nice.

Just because I’m “nice” or “chill” doesn’t give you permission to treat me like a doormat. I’m only like this because I’ve noticed other people being taken advantage of in life and I wouldn’t want to do the same thing to someone else. So what gives you the right to do this to me?

Yeah, we’ve all been through hard and difficult situations growing up. No one is alone. But, maybe that’s why I have such a high tolerance for BS. I’ve seen and dealt with much worse, so that’s why I usually let little things slide. But, I think with people similar to me who have dealt with so many hardships, it’s insanely easy to get walked all over. You know the tropes — you never know when someone’s last day is, you never know what someone is dealing with on the inside etc. But, you can’t let thoughts like that dictate or cloud your thinking. Not everyone has good intentions and not everyone wants to see you succeed, whether you want to hear it or not. I know I sound super paranoid (and I am, too often), but always keep things like this in mind.

Now, this article isn’t geared at anyone specific at all. But I’m 90% positive we’ve all been in a situation where it was too hard to say no right then and there, whether it be with a pushy person, or if it just was a situation that you didn’t feel right in. Yet, you stuck around because you didn’t know what else to do. But, the key to happiness is not only respecting other people’s boundaries, but respecting your own. Always value your own happiness over others at crucial moments like this. There’s a difference between taking one for the team and suffering at your own expense because you thought it was a good idea to tough it out.

Finally, I will admit that I can’t place the entire blame on others. My personality is still growing, and there’s definitely still room for improvement. I can be too passive and not assertive at times. I also have a tendency of putting myself down in front of people (huge social DON’T). I have a huge problem of shutting out people who are only trying to help, and I also expect others to be mind-readers. I’m not perfect. So sometimes, I can see why people think that they can take advantage of me. But, as the quote goes, “be the change you want to see.” Everything that’s occurring in life is only teaching me to be a stronger person.

With that being said, I guess the trick to solving most of this is confidence. Practice saying no without feeling guilty. Tell people what’s on your mind — no filter, no shame. Don’t be afraid to tell someone off if they keep taking advantage of you. And, finally, if you don’t have confidence after all of this, fake it til you make it.