Whoever said high school was the best years of your life was a liar. Relationships, hormones, physical and mental exhaustion, and on top of it all, if you weren’t pretty, you really didn’t matter. “You’re gonna want this back,” said every adult, ever. But honestly, if I want high school back when I’m adult, I sure as hell must hate my life. Looking back, nothing about high school was desirable. While we’re being honest, I think high school are the worst possible years that anyone encounters.

I remember being an acne-ridden, flat chested ninth grader. I thought I knew what love was and I thought I knew who my real friends were: spoiler to any freshman now, you don’t. I was so insecure about myself that I woke up two hours before I had to, just so I could be certain I looked okay. I tiptoed through my freshman year of high school, and I’m certain if there is any footage of someone I wasn’t 100% familiar with talking to me, I was as red as the worst sunburn you have ever seen. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life my freshman year of high school, and that was giving my heart to someone who didn’t understand me. I fell hard, I fell quick, and before I knew it, I was a sophomore.

Sophomore year went by quickly as well. By the summer, I had my first heartbreak. I thought I was the most disgusting person to ever life, and I thought I would never love again. On top of it all, I lost one of the most influential people in my life: my best friend. I was confused, and my heart was shattered. Did I deserve the heartbreak? Absolutely. I was so insecure about myself, that I found myself being hard to tolerate at times. I guess I deserved the end of my relationship with my first love and my best friend. But every day, I entered the doors of high school and got the stares. I heard the whispers of, “Oh, you’re walking with her?” or feel the glares of people who barely even knew me. I watched two of the people I loved most become the source of my reason to not want to get up in the morning. I found myself begging for sickness, for a doctor’s appointment, for a single reason not to walk down the halls every day. No, I wasn’t suicidal, but I felt like I was dragging everyone down. I felt like I was a burden to every person I came across.

“When you’re young, everything feels like the end of the world. But it’s not, it’s just the beginning.” -Seventeen Again

When my high school days were nearing, I saw the light. I became best friends with two girls who will stand beside me at my wedding and who will be addressed by my kids as “Aunt”. (Abby and Haley, if you read this, you saved me more than you will ever know.) I committed to the college of my dreams. On top if it all, I met the man that I’m sure my father will give me away to. Graduation lifted the dark cloud off of my shoulders. I moved into college and met friends that I will have for the rest of my life. I developed a better relationship with my parents. All in all, I became a better person and the thing that ties all of these events together: I got the hell out of high school.

Moral of the story: it gets better. When you love everything you have, you have everything you need. I have so much love in my heart today that it could explode. These are not the best days of your life, they are ahead of you. Don’t look back. If I have one thing that I could tell every girl that’s now in my old shoes, I’d tell you to study hard, ignore the whispers, and love yourself. It ends. And the beginning of the new is so beautiful.