So, when you're in college, and young, you're expected to go out. Go out and "get lit." No matter your age, you're supposed to find the venue and the crew to go out to a club, bar, party, whatever. You're supposed to get drunk and do drugs and hook up with strangers. This might sound unfortunate to you if this is the kind of life you live, but that sounds absolutely unappealing to me.

I'm not saying I don't like to go out and that I've never had a drink, but going out to the college clubs is not my scene.

Club scene that makes me uncomfortablePhoto by Alia Bly on UnSplash

You would think this is not a big deal that I don't like to go out to these people, but apparently, it is. I am actually left out from not going to these venues near my college. I have mad anxiety without a diagnosis. I don't want to try and convince a bartender that I am the legal age, or try drugs that will change my senses, or let a random sleazeball man grope up against me and touch me in places I don't want to be touched.

I have a lot of friends who are just like me and like to have fun and don't need these specific clubs. But then, when I have friends visit, that's all they want to do. I like to party, I'm not saying I'm not any fun, but I really get uncomfortable from these clubs.

I went to "Knights Library" my first week up here, and just no thank you. I paid ten dollars just to get in. I couldn't drink because I have these huge black X's on my hand to prove my age. But even if I wanted to drink, they only had shots and cheap liquor.

The only thing I love about clubs that's usually at them all is the dancing. I love to dance. So when I got the opportunity to go out on the floor with my friend and dance, I got groped by at least three men in the span of 10 minutes. I was single at the time, but they were still unwelcomed. The last guy that I recall dancing up against me, started touching me across my chest and breast like he was trying to give me a mammogram. I couldn't believe it.

I kid you not, I left in an hour because of how uncomfortable I was. Ten dollars down the drain, violated, and an hour of my life gone.

I'm not saying these places suck or aren't fun, I'm saying they're not fun to me. I hate them.

I have been in a serious committed relationship with my boyfriend now, and he is the same way. He says he can't wait till we are 21 so we can go to actual nice fun bars with live music, cool people, uniquely crafted beverages, and more. It thrills me that he feels the same way. But unfortunately, right now, he and I don't do anything of the sorts of going out.

Dream Bar ScenePhoto by Patrick Tomasso on UnSplash

I just hate the pressure and the stigma of it all. If I don't want to go out, that shouldn't mean I am missing out on the college experience. It shouldn't mean I am antisocial, or a dud or no fun. I consider myself very fun and very social. So it's just a shame that people think me not going to these college clubs to "get lit" is sad. I am not sad, do not have pity for me.

I prioritize school and working. I prioritize getting my studies done because that's what I am in Orlando for. My parents are paying for me to be here and have a college experience. I definitely feel like I am having the college experience, I do. Mine just might be different than yours because I am not browsing for the deal of the night on those party apps. I, unfortunately, am stressing over paying for my car and making sure I get into my degree program.

Working on my studiesPhoto by 85Fifteen on UnSplash

Just to end this off, I am not trying to shade, be negative or hate on anyone. Truth be told I envy those who enjoy the college bars. I just am stating how I feel and my view.