I've been a member of a sorority for several years, and as anyone who knows anything about sorority life understands, the tradition of Big/Little sisterhood is a huge part of sorority culture. I'm fully aware that what I'm about to say is an unpopular opinion. Don't get me wrong, I have three beautiful littles that I am lucky enough to call my family, but I don't think most people's experiences are as amazing as mine have been. I'm not sure bigs and littles are worth continuing as a tradition, and I think that for many reasons it's a bad idea.
"How could this be?" you ask. "Getting a big is one of the most fundamental parts of joining a sorority!"
Well, okay, sure. I get the premise. Each new girl gets an older sister, a 'big,' to guide her through new sorority life, to welcome her into the sorority, and to create a special bond with. Sounds good so far, sure. But I think there are way more problems with the big/little system than there are benefits, and I think it's worth examining if it should be changed, or even done away with entirely.
From the start, there's the financial perspective. Joining a sorority is already a financial commitment, but big-little week is just an extravagant waste of money. Bigs can spend hundreds of dollars on gifts for just one week, buying someone a ton of things they don't need and probably don't even want. Don't get me wrong, I know my little definitely didn't need a purple zebra striped umbrella. For girls who already struggle to pay dues, it's a difficult realization that they will not be able to provide the kind of experience that others may use Daddy's money to provide.
Then, there's the actual process of getting a big. As chair of standards for my sorority, I'm responsible for determining who is eligible to take a little, and who is not. Without fail, every single semester, I face irritated, pissed off, and bordering on belligerent confrontations when girls are told they can't take a little. I get it. You wanted her. You fell in love with her. She's meant to be yours, and you can't have her. And the potential little feels the same way. It's crappy all around.
Even worse, many new members don't even get a chance to meet all of their new sisters before being forced to make a decision on who to pick for their potential bigs. At best, they've been in the same room with all of their sisters once or twice, and are now forced to decided who they will enter into an irrevocable bond with for the rest of their sorority days. Sorry, I'm not impressed.
And what happens when they don't like each other? When they fight? When one drops from the sorority? When one is terminated? By assigning a formal bond to the natural mentoring relationships that SHOULD occur in a sorority, we force our members into boxes that don't allow them to grow. We pit current members against each other as they fight for the same potential little. We make new members compete to gain the attention of the sister they want as their big. It's a mess, it's a negative experience, and I just don't think it's worth it with the way that it currently plays out.
