What can be worse than putting on a smile when you have huge problems to worry about? You feel like you can't be in the moment because your worries are larger than life.
Some people are great at "shutting off" the brain or winding down, no matter how big or small their problems are. But some just cannot (most of the time).
People with anxiety know this very well.
We start to create a list of priorities.
Dealing with the big problem at hand comes before going out or and meeting up with people. That seems obvious, but another reason behind your lack of interest in socializing is maybe your distrust in people.
When you have gone through a traumatic experience and had to overcome all the struggles on your own, you feel like you don't need to be around very many people. They could not help then—they probably will not now—so you start to think you are on your own.
On top of that, we always hear or read things that are meant to support us during our struggles like, "Do It Yourself," "No One Can Help You But Yourself," "You Have To Pick Yourself Up." If you have to do everything yourself, then where do others come in?
These statements meant to motivate can at the same time lead us to think we do not need anybody in our lives.
"What is the point of going out and being with other people when I know the worry I carry around me has to be solved first entirely by myself? While I am around everybody—in the back of my mind—I know that at the end of the day I am on my own."
In fact, we also know that "everyone has their own problems" right? And this term is so overused that it seems if "they can't be a part of my issues, I can't be a part of theirs." We are all on our own. Hence, it becomes easy to push people away.
If we know all this, then we also know what isolation can do.
You must not be your worst enemy by isolating yourself. In order to make socializing easier, go out without giving the past much thought.
You have nothing to accomplish in this social gathering. You are doing something, and that is trying to help yourself—without expecting anything. Let the feelings come as they may. Leave the mindset at home, the one that tells you "everyone is on their own."
You do not need to burden yourself with it. You already have a lot on your plate.
